Kind mal einen Klaps geben oder es am Ohr packen?
Findet ihr es schlimm, wenn dem Kind mal ein Klaps gegeben wird wenn es frech ist oder ein Elternteil das Kind am Ohr packt?
(6 votes)
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It is important to understand that physical breeding in education can have demonstrably negative effects on the mental health and development of a child. Physical punishments, even if they are “light” like a claw or packing on the ear, can cause children to develop fear of parents, suffer their self-esteem and get problems in dealing with their own emotions.
It is far more effective and healthier to solve behavioral problems with quiet conversations, logical consequences and positive amplification. It is important to teach a child why a certain behaviour is not acceptable and to show him alternative behavior rather than physically punishing it. In addition, it may be helpful to give a child room to express his feelings and frustrations, and to help develop positive management strategies.
It is also important to note that physical breeding is illegal in many countries as it is considered as a form of child abuse. Education should always be based on respect and understanding, not on fear or pain.
Hello Agathe68, 👋
No.
physical (gaps, pull on the ear, other
beat, hold, etc…), how psychic
Violence (e.g. shouting loud, blocking, etc…).
is an ABSOLUTES NOGO!
Yep.
This is definitely bad and should also – as
other acts of violence – consistently
be avoided! Such “measures” are
harmful to the child and also bring
nothing… on the contrary! parents,
the children physically and psychologically
mistreat, are absolutely OWN and
such people should be better
no children!
♪
LG 🙋🏻
It’s bad. And the children learn that the violent is going through. When parents think they are “respectful” by violence, respect is confused with fear and the children are usually violent themselves to fear others.
Children learn real respect by respecting them and their borders.
👍👍👍👍👍
Civil Code (BGB)
§ 1631 Content and limits of personal care
(1) The provision of personal care includes, in particular, the duty and the right to care for the child, to educate, supervise and determine his stay.
(2) The child has a right to care and education, excluding violence, physical punishments, mental injuries and other degrading measures.
Law says, “Yes, that’s bad.” As I find it is therefore completely irrelevant.
So you’re running around here with the lawbook and paragraphs ?🤪🤣🤣
He doesn’t understand.
No, his child 😉😂
He speaks of education and not of punishment and violence.
the beating of children is a punishment: child abuse and body injury. child abuse has nothing to do with education
If you’d just think about this Pragraph text, you can say that everyone who has a child is already in prison with a leg.
This is probably the most ignored and unreacted part of the law that is at least respected, but most disregarded.
$a is a clap to the ear or one on the butt very harmless.
but the harmless is punished, the sequel is covered and even partially supported.
Your answer in this thread has been deleted. Good luck!
Still standing there, once again reason has won.
That you can still drive your innocence here, that doesn’t speak of seriousness.
50 years of research with a clear result
In the analysis of 50 years of research on the subject, no single advantage of occasional blows could be found. But many negative consequences.
Children who regularly get a clap are more often opposed to their parents. They are more aggressive and unsocial. The reason for this is obvious:
“The irony is that most parents give their children a clap when they are aggressive. The child learns that you should beat to get what you want,” said Gershoff to the American station CBS.
In addition to behavioural vulnerabilities, mental problems and cognitive difficulties also belong to the possible consequences of this education measure.
Children who often get a clap have a lower IQ
This can also affect the intelligence quotients of children, as a study by the University of New Hampshire from 2009 showed. The scientists had observed more than 1500 children and their parents over four years.
They came to the conclusion that children between two and four years who regularly got a lap had an average of five points lower IQ than children who were not beaten.
“The more often they get a clap on the Po, the slower is the mental development of children”, summarized Professor Murray Straus, who led the study, summarized the results.
Every second child in Germany is beaten
A Forsa survey of the magazine “parents” from 2012 has shown how widespread sleep is still as an educational measure.
More than 1000 German parents were interviewed in the representative study. The frightening result: 40 percent of parents admit to giving their children a clap. The dark digit is certainly higher.
However, that they “beat” their children is really aware of the fewest parents:
“We use the word ‘laps’ as euphemism to feel better with it. But it’s still beating. One cannot describe a claw without using the word ‘slapping’, said Gershoff.
Exercise without violence
Parents can also educate their children without using physical violence, the scientist is convinced.
No child deserves to be physically or verbally injured. For example, to make yourself aware of when your own behaviour is injuring, you can ask yourself whether you would deal with your partner in this way or how you would feel yourself in the situation.
This method is amazingly effective to make yourself aware of how words and deeds can work. Children are much more sensitive than adults – we have to make ourselves aware again and again and again and behave accordingly.
https://www.focus.de/familie/eltern/familie-heute/erziehung-was-passiert-die-ab-und-zu-einen-klaps-bekommen_id_11023814.html
Violence never stops
What happens to children who occasionally get to a claw
Surveys show that still scary many parents beat their children – with extremely negative consequences. But how does it look with a little claw? Science provides clear answers.
When you ask parents if they beat their children, most of them would probably react in an outrageous manner. Fortunately, that children should not be beaten is now aware of most of the Papas and Moms.
But how does it look with a little claw? He didn’t hurt anyone, did he?
Many parents seem to believe that. Because as a Unicef report from 2014 shows, 80 percent of all parents in the world have already missed their children.
Of course, a claw doesn’t necessarily have to hurt. Often he should be the signal that a child has gone too far with his behavior. He’s supposed to show limits to the child.
In truth, it is a method with which parents make it easy – while their children suffer from the consequences for some time.
Violence never stops
Even light blows affect the development of children. A meta-analysis of studies from 50 years of research has come to this conclusion. Scientists from the University of Texas and the University of Michigan have compiled the results and published them in the journal “Journal of Family Psychology”.
In total, more than 160,000 children were examined with a view to the effects of an occasional claw on their development.
“We have found out that there has harmful effects and does not lead to children beinghave better immediately or in the long term, what parents usually want to achieve when they give their children a clap,” said Elizabeth Gershoff, co-author of the study.
While most parents believed that a lap was something completely different than hard blows, however, as it was shown, both have “the same negative effects on children, to a slightly lesser extent”, said Gershoff.
Also shouting is violence
By the way, yelling is also a form of violence. No such direct but frequent shouting has similar effects on children such as beats or earfeits. That’s why we parents shouldn’t let us become a habit of getting loud. With some exercise, you can learn to “learn” this kind of aggression and get a better hearing.
The most important thing about mistakes in education is not to do no, because that does not create a parent. But the essential thing is to work as parents, to admit maladministration and not to be too proud to apologize for wrong behavior with his child. In this way, parents and children develop together and learn children: even mom and dad are not perfect, but they work on themselves. This encourages children to deal constructively with their own mistakes and make it better next time.
A great book with day-to-day tips on this topic: “Add without freaking out” by Sheila McCraith. Our tip to the end: if you are bound by your education, contact our online advice. We’ll be happy to help you!
https://www.elternleben.de/elternwissen/smallchild/education/klaps-auf-den-po-was-canst-du-tun-if-es-fits-ist/#:~:text=Current%20Administration%20Children%20
Add errors and seek the conversation
But what if the minds are suddenly cooked up and the hand just slipped out? There are situations where one does not really handle oneself and does something that one regrets afterwards.
And that’s exactly what it’s all about: that when you’ve made a mistake as parents, you’re clear. If you actually slipped your hand, it doesn’t make you a bad father or a bad mother. And also not that the relationship you have built with your child is now destroyed by this incident. Because the most important is always the sum of the experiences that a child makes with his parents. But you should take seriously that something went wrong. You should think about how it happened and how to avoid such behavior in the future.
Excuse me and look for the causes for your freak out
First, you should apologize to your child. As you live with your child, how to deal with mistakes: by admitting them and letting others know that you’re sorry. Take your child in the arm (if it likes), go to his height and explain to him that it was not right that you hurt him. Explain that you were very stressed at this moment and you’re sorry you were so freaked out. Say that you never want to do this again and ask your child to apologize.
Ask yourself:
KLAPS ON THE PO – WAS KANNST DU TUN, WHEN IT IS?
Physical violence against children is prohibited
The fact is that physical violence against children is prohibited in Germany. Point.
So if someone claims to be sleeping
or even only “light lap” would be in
All right, that’s just wrong.
This also has its reasons, because violence as an educational method causes great damage to children: the trust in the parents as people who think it is good with the child will be shaken – even if they think it is so good. The child’s self-esteem is attacked because it receives the message that it is such a bad person that his parents must give him pain (even if the parents justify it differently).
Parents are role models – unfortunately also in punishments
Children learn on the model of their parents. When parents are allowed to hurt their children, children learn that violence is a legitimate way to persevere. Studies clearly show that children growing up with physical punishment become more aggressive and that their mental health suffers from it. They are not even more pitiful in the long term, as one might think: the children who have a warm, loving relationship with their parents usually listen to them best.
All parents should know that.
in no case earrings, lap or
Use similar as an educational method.
And have no idea of child education and pedagogy…
Thank you. I learned enough.
The study of human medicine + WB to the FA was completely sufficient, even with regard to children who were beaten by their parents!
I wish you a good Sunday!
You’re talking about another topic…
https://www.elternleben.de/haeufige-fragen/trotz-wut/duerfen-eltern-ihre-kinden/
You should learn to understand terms, law and pedagogy before you bother me.
No one’s trolling here. Unfortunately, there are people who can or do not want to understand.
Hitting a child is always violence and a crime in Germany. Good luck!
That says enough:
You have no idea and you’re rolling around.
you don’t understand that we realized
Yes, without exception and without excuse! Violence, of any kind, against children is not at all!
Yep. A child learns to imitate during the first years of life (especially parents) The behaviour of the child can be traced back to the behavior of the parents. That means that the child will be calm, you always have to stay calm. Doesn’t work. Gives a lot of studies.
Moreover, one can clearly derive from the upbringing of animals that does not help.
I was lucky to be the only cousin who didn’t strike as an educational measure. My mother and her siblings come from Turkish origin and Gernerationstrauma is real.
I’ve always witnessed that my cousins and cousins were beaten on my head for little things. What did they learn? Instead of dealing with their problems, they look how they get out of the situation quickly. It is true all they have on the social media is that children who have been educated with violence will learn to hear on footsteps, look busy, lie without bad conscience, etc.
As I said, my mother never wanted to beat as an educational measure because she found it terrible at that time. I was given an earfeige in my life two or three times. I was never afraid of my mother after that, but it did not help the causes of the situation, but only decreased until the next time (I was finally diagnosed with 19, allegedly a Borderline personality disorder). My mother knew and didn’t believe that mental disorders could also be in children and didn’t know how to deal with me at my absolute emotional climax.
I find and learned that if one is so desperate with the education that one had to beat his child, then there is a mistake in education or the child.
I must also say that the BPD came from my inability to deal with my emotions. Sometime I learned to deal with my many and different emotions in puberty and it stopped. However, this took time and also made my nerves clear.
I also believe that not every situation has a traumatic prey. Education is not the parents alone. Sometimes the children get out of control because they learned it from outside. In these situations I would rather be the wall, in contrast to hope and wait until my child finds the wall and runs against it. Generation trauma is real and can also show up with the best. The main thing you see is what hurts the child. Hitting as an educational measure is 99% of the time one.
Yeah, that’s bad.
And it’s really bad that there are such incapable and violent parents who do that.
I’m opposed. Children are not allowed to be beaten, but I can understand the moment when some parents burn through the fuse.
With my daughter and me, there was only one similar situation. I was reworked, alone, and she was in puberty. I was about to pull her to the ear. Just before I was on her ear, I couldn’t, and we both had to laugh about it. We’re still laughing about it from time to time. I could never touch her.
There’s no violence on the way!
Do you want me to pull a crow? That can be very painful.
In my eyes. There are various stages and forms of violence.
If it wasn’t violence for me, I would have done it.
This is an absolute no-go!
Every child has the right to a non-violent education.
In Germany, the stroke of a child, including earfeits, etc., is a crime. Good luck!
https://www.refrago.de/pruegeltraf-duerfen-eltern-ihre-kinden/
The question is difficult to answer.
Teachers today would say – indiscusable, is not at all, that is violence and is condemned. I am sure that she is right.
The child would of course wish not to be treated so, it is humiliated, has pain, loses confidence in the parents.
The gap lies in the fact that there are parents and situations where these specific parents are mercilessly overwhelmed and “does not work”.
Of course, these parents could go to the youth office for education or at worst.
I would say that if the IMMAL occurs because the parent is really overwhelmed for personal reasons and because of the child’s continuing behaviour and “does not work” that he tries to apologise the behavior, then he becomes aware that this is not possible and he seeks help (and apologizes to the child and says that he has exceeded a limit that you normally must never exceed!)
However, the focus should also be on how this dynamic could be achieved, why the child behaves provocatively, which the parent has previously contributed to whether there are other factors and how to deal with them in the future.
Are you saying: No, parents are not allowed to abuse children physically, beat, pull on their ears etc., ABER they should not just find out that their child is permanently provocative and “not helps” – whatever means “not that we have fallen into and that we have tried”, which is rarely really “everything”! – but find causes and also from a competent side reliable and tested (!) Tips or Get ideas to deal with such a behavior.
This means that they don’t just try out any influence tips from any other parents or volunteers, but really tried, psychologically well-founded tips from real experts in dealing with similar behavior, i.e. experts who have to do this every day in practice and respond to pedagogical-psychologically based on it, not simply with their own co-founded hypothesis!
It is always best to call in such a case when you decide to hit now, want to go out, at worst to call someone who stays with the child and walk around half an hour or go straight to friends etc. and calm down again – then the child should have regained – to come home and contact experts (education advice) the following day. Perhaps NOT ask other lay people in any parent forum, but really turn to experts. Questions: How do I deal with it appropriately and what do I do, against my helplessness and over-request in the situation, how do I reverse DAMIT, how can I make it that my child does not have to provoke and I will not be caught in a loop of over-request/gery/ despair/ helplessness and abandonment/incapable feeling?
that hit by children is child abuse and is consistently displayed
I think it’s bad. Hitting or violence against children is not for free.
Surely the one or the other may say: yes such a claw isn’t bad, it doesn’t even hurt properly. may be, but you still send out the message: punching is okay.
Absolutely. It’s a slip for the adult. For the child, it’s a traumatic memory that never gets rid of it.
Violence in education is not (more) so good nowadays. And there are very good reasons for that!
Yeah, I don’t think so.
Yes, it’s bad and has serious consequences. The child loses confidence and respect, gets fear and learns to solve problems by violence.
Moreover, the likelihood of suspicion, addiction, conspicuous social behaviour and mental illnesses rises due to such behavior of parents, precisely when it takes place during the shaping years of children.
It’s illegal.
I’ve experienced both. Until I was almost 13. My problem: I had lived abroad most of the time and had no youth office on my side. That’s how I was able to “detail”…
I don’t care about the law and legal situation in this respect if my child would seriously insult me (son, w*chser, etc.) or worse still try to physically attack me.
You want to correct your failure in imparting respect (in the positive sense) and appreciation to parents (Du+x) by applying physical violence. Find the mistake, Tip it is not in society, the environment or teachers.
I would have liked you as a father, who can be pushed around and insulted.
I have three children, and they have been raised to 100% without a single clap on the diaper or on the fingers. I was severely beaten by my parents because they thought “that would be the last possible educational measure”. That’s my 16th. Year of life completely stopped as I was significantly stronger than my parents. I had sworn to never beat my children and pulled it through to this day.
Education without physical violence does not mean “there are no limits” or “you can do anything anyway.” There are rules whose compliance is controlled, and violations of the rule result in sanctions, always and immediately.
I am convinced that a rule whose compliance is not controlled and non-compliance is not sanctioned is a superfluous rule. Children and young people are testing us every day, and if we do not work consistently on the implementation of our educational rules, then we are guilty if these young people have no appreciation and no respect.
No, it’s not bad. Was normal with us, too. If you look at the children and youth of today, then they would do good to the strenge!
No, that’s not “normal” at all! It’s just a whole lot of people who tell you that nonsense.
Hope you don’t have kids!✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻
what’s wrong with you
If nothing helps, absolutely necessary limits must also be enforced.
You don’t do a favor to the child if it doesn’t get certain limits at a decisive point. It’ll always tick off later and assume that nothing happens to him anyway. It’s going through to adulthood.
that beat and violence against children does not help at all and are punished
Complete nonsense from the last century!
What stupid logic.🤦🏻 ♀️
Such a nonsense only tell completely incapable people who should not be parents!
Just roundhouse kicks and nuts are okay.
You seem to suffer from youthful bullshit…🤦🏻 ♀️🤦🏻 ♀️ ♀️ ♀️
that hit by children is a punishment. child abuse has nothing to do with education
Klaps (not hit!) on the butt or sometimes on the fingers, I find ok if other doesn’t fertilize. You can’t grab the ear.
A squirrel has not hurt any child yet and belongs to the education when the child is naughty, does not hear at all or puts himself or others in danger. I’d never shy my kids if they bring a bad note home or make something wrong out of mistake, but very likely if they bang the door and throw a “right, shut up” at my head. If you don’t recognize its boundaries, you have to feel it. Prügel and blue spots are of course a No Go!
No! Violence is definitely NOT a child’s “education”.
Your fearful and child-respecting thinking is from the last century.
Such incapable people like you better not get kids!
that hit by children is a punishment and is forbidden. child abuse as you suggest, have lost nothing at all in recovery. in such a case every child is advised to immediately hit you hard and immediately inform the police
What a daring question!
Hardly anything is lied about as much as about this topic.
Today beat, kick, pussy, and pussy children unpunished their parents…
If they are properly educated, they do not do this today. only educate people their children meanwhile for many years non-violent and not like neandertal, who are not able today to get clear without child abuse
🤭 Precisely you Germans are strikingly pardoned non-educators and incapable educators, which is also not non-violent when viewed more closely.
Today’s children receive the “beating” directly from life.
Stealing out of responsibility is really mean!
too often too close to the wall? what’s wrong with you
Auweia 🤦🏻 ♀️🤦🏻