Can my mother take my money?
Hello, I (17) am currently doing a free year of studies (FJS), work a 40-hour week, and have little energy or time to tidy my room, so it's always a bit messy. My mother has threatened that if it continues to be this messy, she will tidy it up herself every two weeks and will take €10 of my child benefit as payment. But I don't want that. I don't want her snooping around in my private space while I tidy up, nor do I want her constantly taking part of my child benefit for something I don't require of her. It would all be against my will. Can she just do it like that?
This is the message she wrote to me.
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She shouldn’t do it. Exception: food residue, dirty dishes, stinky garbage buckets etc. If she has to clear a way to the stench sources, the threat is okay. Even if she puts you clean clothes in the room, and the closet doesn’t get up or comes up against anything…. or it’s so much around that you keep going where it is, and that’s how the stuff is broken, even there I understand the frustration.
We used to have this fight. Luckily we took pictures on the class trip. We found this at the time completely ok, 15 years later I see the photo and think: Alter Schwede, looks like a closet exploded!
The message looks like from somewhere copy paste. Maybe it’s funny.
And so it’s not like I don’t have any dishes, food remnants etc standing around. And also the floor is clean and not covered. I only have a lot of stuff like e.g. Deos, cosmetics and other things are so small boxes open. And that’s what she looks like.
Then I don’t know. Either you turn the boxes and you’re doing the favors. Or you leave it. For your very private stuff, you can get a small safe, and soon you’ll be 18 and you can take off. It’s sometimes the only light look.
Yeah, that’s hard. In any case, you have the right to respect your privacy. But how do you do that? You’ll have to arrange yourself somehow. Good luck!
Not quite. I’m afraid I can’t take off at 18. In my Fjs I don’t serve much and after that I make a 2 year training as a social assistant and then make the 3 year training a educator that are a total of 5 years and since both schoolings are educational I don’t deserve money for the next 5 years… of course I’ll look for a next job but if that’s enough I don’t know how to pull out.
Well, let’s say I don’t think it’s as good as it’s dealing with the problem, but it’s just legal IHR house or something. YOUR apartment in which you live, and she can do what she wants, and it’s YOUR child benefit intended for your maintenance. As long as I’ve lived at home, my parents have kept this completely, I’ve never seen anything about it, and that’s not my right, just as little as yours is.
I think every person who goes to work full-time and lives alone understands how that is when you have no more time for yourself, because everything that needs to be done remains on one, and you no longer come to relax or pursue a hobby. Unfortunately, this is how it works, and I assume that your mother, when you live with her, does things like all the other rooms, plan food, buy, cook, wash away afterwards, wash laundry and all the things that happen. If you’re pulled out, it’ll be your 40-h week.
It is best to swallow this bitter pill and drag you through your room to make order at least to the extent that your mother recognizes the good will, even if you prefer to rest, and then you will try to behave in it in such a way that there is not so much disorder at all. Things are going to get back where they came from before you leave the room, see if you can take something out, and all those little things that prevent such a huge pile of unfolding that you don’t get settled.
I had some heavy depressive episodes for many years and lived in an absolute mess. Since then I have been accustomed to certain things in order to keep as small as possible the heaps that you live around, so that this feeling of exaggeration and exhaustion does not even begin when thinking of a task. It doesn’t always work, but it works.
Well, legally speaking, this one-sided service contract is ineffective, and on the other hand, your mother has a great deal of play in the use and “invoicing” of child money, especially as long as you live at home.
It’s not your child’s money. As long as the parents entertain you, you have no claim that they pay you out. So clean up rooms or give up 10 euros.
Just clear up and all the problems are solved?
No matter how I get up or how much it’s never enough for her and she always sees it as incorrigible
If you’re wearing a photo of the current status quo…
Find that absolutely okay from your mother.
You live with her: so her rules and she wants it clean. If you don’t give up yourself, she’ll make it for payment…
Imposing the woman to me somehow
The child’s money is 100% for your mother anyway, she’s allowed to take off what she wants, you don’t get it anyway.
So…
By the way, you can also learn to keep rooms tidy, then you save yourself the daily clean up. If you don’t want her put in her apartment, you have to learn to take care of it yourself. In the weekend you have more than enough time
Without going into whether your mother can or not…
40-hour week and you’re flat?
Go to the 40h plus. On the way to work a single parent of two children, who, after the end of the day, makes the whole household, makes purchases and is there for the children when they come out of the nest. So there are many women, so I went after separation/divorce.
But your room is a child’s play. You’ll get that to the left. Clean more thoroughly (with suck and wipe dust) in the week, clean away what you had in use. You can get that to the left and even surprise your mother with a finished washing machine or a drained hall.
that’s just extortion, you guys I didn’t hire, I don’t pay. On the other hand, take care of your room 🙂
“I keep money that is completely mine anyway” hardly classified as extortion
but she’s trying to blackmail, because the money is apparently handed out.
No. He will not be forced to something, he will be put before the election either to clean up his room or in the future to get less of the money he does not have anyway.
It is also not that he is faced with tasks that are not to be handled. As a parent, one also has an education order, and later he will be placed before the task either to clean up himself, to pay someone for it or to suffocate in his own disorder. Option 3 is simply not available because it is the premises of the parents. I see no extortion, I see the deletion of additional services linked to conditions.
half of the biscuits he can get into his hair.
Here, the situation is quite so, without wanting to use extortion or annulment in a legal sense, that someone should be forced to act by partially removing money for unauthorized work.
That’s lupen-reine extortion.
No one is forced. The child’s money is meant to be a child’s maintenance, but it belongs to the parents. If you have this free as a child, then it is a counterpart of the parents to whom they are not obliged, and if you have the impression that your child is taking advantage of it and motivating it without answering it, then you can leave it.
If I bring a cookie to someone every day and he keeps kicking my ass, it’s neither extortion nor killing if I tell him at some point that he only gets half a cookie from me when he goes on.
then we have to convert it into a foolishness, but it comes out to the same because we do not use it in a legal sense.
253 Stgb extortion: (1) Who is illegal (…)
It is not illegal because the child has no entitlement to child benefit, so it can also not be extortion