Kann jemand kurz über meine Summary rüber gucken und Feedback geben?
Ich schreibe morgen eine Englischklausur mit den Themen Summary und Comment, da ich in letzter Zeit aufgrund von Krankheit sehr oft im Unterricht gefehlt habe, habe ich daher nicht so viel Lernstoff mitbekommen. Ich habe mich gerade eben an einen Text ran gemacht und eine Summary dazu geschrieben. Ich wäre sehr dankbar, wenn jemand kurz drüber gucken könnte, um mir Feedback zu geben (einen Comment schreibe ich gleich noch, den werde ich nachher höchstwahrscheinlich ebenefalls hochladen).
Der original Text:
Meine Summary:
The article “The Dark Solitude of a Lockdown”, published on September 10,2020 from Jenny Stevens deals with the reasons why the author moves into an own apartment but notice during the Lockdown, that she want to live in a flat.
In the beginning of the article, the author weites about that she lived for the past eight months at her friends apartment but decides to move into her own because of mental health. At first she enjoys the time and the place for her own, even when there are some quiet and boring days. During the Lockdown her mind changes although she stays in contact with her friends, but after some time she feeled lonely and getting jealous of her friends who are in a flat together. At this Point she decides, that she wants to live in a flat in the future. In the end of the text a friend ask her to move into his flat.
In a nutshell, she ist going to move into the flat with her friend and some others.
(175 Wörter)
Vielen Dank an jeden !!
(1 votes)
Loading...
Du hast ein paar Flüchtigkeitsfehler drin, wie vergessene Apostrophe oder ein paar zu viele Kommata. Manchmal vergisst du auch das 3rd person singular s oder verwendest die deutschen Regeln der Groß-/Kleinschreibung. Weiterhin würde ich aufgrund der berichtenden Form in der Vergangenheitsform schreiben. Inhaltlich ist es aber in Ordnung, ich würde nur vielleicht noch ein bisschen mehr auf den Anfang des Textes eingehen, da sie erklärt, wie es überhaupt dazu gekommen ist, dass sie bei Freunden eingezogen ist. Das wäre jetzt meine RS und GR-Korrektur deines Textes, inhaltlich habe ich es nicht ergänzt:
“The article “The Dark Solitude of a Lockdown”, published on September 10, 2020 by Jenny Stevens, deals with the reasons why the author moved into her own apartment but realizes during the lockdown that she wants to live in an apartment.
At the beginning of the article, the author explains that she has been living in her friends’ apartment for the last eight months, but then decided to move into her own apartment due to her mental health. At first, she enjoyed the time for herself, even if there were some quiet and boring days. During the lockdown, her mind changed, although she stayed in touch with her friends, but after some time she felt lonely and became jealous of her friends who share an apartment. At this point, she decided that she wanted to live in a shared apartment/with roommates/flatmates in the future. At the end of the text, a friend asked her to move into his apartment.”
In summary: she is going to move into the apartment with her boyfriend and some others.