Ist mein Dialog korrekt?

He’s okay. You’re changing between ‘mean’ and ‘remembered’, and I might be a bit more ‘multilateral’ with regard to the possibilities.

Otherwise, you don’t have to write a ‘say xy’ behind each spoken line. What is important is that the reader knows who has actually just spoken or spoken.

This can be represented by various possibilities. Among other things, you can also write ‘mean’. Where I might make it less ‘mean’, but rather if the word really has something to say’, like, for example, ‘flattered’ or ‘brilled’.

You can do that here, for example, by the brother Anton simply ‘reprompt’ or ‘rejected’ will try the weapon.

Otherwise, you can also point out who has just spoken or who the focus is, e.g. ‘Anton had to smile’ and then something is said.

Here, too, as long as the reader knows what’s going on and doesn’t sink it into scripted spelling, you don’t have to force anything you don’t want 🙂

Have fun rewriting! 🙂