Ist das schon ein krankhaftes Verhalten?
Guten Morgen,
Ich würde gerne ein bisschen über meine jetzige Situation sprechen und mal ein paar Meinungen einholen.
Seit ca 2 Jahren haben wir zwei Katzen. Diese haben wir (meine Freundin und ich) uns geholt, weil meine Freundin studiert hat und ich arbeiten war, damit sie nicht so alleine ist.
Nun sind wir in eine größere und schönere Wohnung umgezogen und die Katzen gehen mir tierisch auf die Nerven. Sie haben zwar genug Kratzmöglichkeiten, zerstören trotzdem einige Sachen. Kleine Beispiele: Wohnzimmertür voll mit tiefen Kratzern, Deko des öfteren runtergeschmissen und zerbrochen, an Kabeln geknabbert, Kratzer in das neue 700€ Sofa uvm.
Bisher habe ich alles mehr oder weniger verkraftet, auch wenn einiges hart an der Grenze war. Nun ist es aber so, dass wir beide eine Wohnung kaufen möchten, damit wir nicht ständig Miete zahlen möchten. Wir haben uns auch eine schöne ausgesucht, welche auch relativ groß ist. Dafür müsste ich aber auch einen hohen Kredit nehmen. Jetzt sehe ich es aber nicht ein, so viel Geld in eine neue schöne Wohnung zu stecken, welche die Katzen höchstwahrscheinlich zerstören werden.
Meine Freundin will aber die Katzen unter keinen Umständen weggeben, was ich einerseits verstehe, weil sie Tiere liebt etc. andererseits sie möchte trotzdem eine schöne Wohnung haben, will aber nicht einsehen, dass die Katzen ein Problem darstellen. Das verstehe ich halt nicht, sie verlieren Unmengen an Haaren und es stinkt ständig wegen dem Katzenklo. Außerdem muss man jedes Mal gucken wer die Katzen füttert, wenn man im Urlaub ist und man gibt echt viel Geld für Katzenstreu, Futter etc. aus.
Mittlerweile arbeitet sie auch. Wir beide arbeiten im Schichtdienst und es wird immer schwieriger Zeit für die Katzen zu finden.
Ich habe das Gefühl, dass sie ihre Zukunft den Katzen überlässt bzw sich nur nach ihnen richtet und nicht nachdem was sie bzw ich möchte.
Meine Frage dazu ist einfach, ob dieses Verhalten schon krankhaft ist. Mich würde gerne eure Meinung dazu interessieren. Vielleicht liege auch ich falsch und übertreibe es etwas, könnt es mich gerne wissen lassen.
Lg
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Hello JokerKing,
you write down in a comment, quote: “Before, it was not a problem, the circumstances now change. What I mean with sick is that she keeps doing everything after the cats and not after what she wants.”
In this comment there is a small mistake of thought and I assume that the “Knoten” the actual view of the essence “closed“: What she wants to do is align herself with the cats! On the basis of your – albeit one-sided – descriptions, I can see that it makes your girlfriend happy and it generates added value to align with the cats. The cats, besides their work and you, are an integral part of their lives. I can fully understand. Exactly this property(s) you will most likely love her, since you are with her “Nestbau” and want to raise children. These are about similar approaches in her that (and this is an unscientific speculation of me) spill oxytocin. I can also follow you in content that it is for you “only cats” so, something that is so coexisting and makes a difference for you, you wanted to compare your pragmatic approach with cleanliness and intactness of beautiful and expensive facilities with your future children and their destruction. These are subjects, parts of you. But not the cats. You feel this as an outside, as a sidepiece, a bit like a non-handle/non-controllable thing, which may also be “ready” for dysfunction. Your girlfriend feels this “Trenning Feeling” between subject and object not. For them, the cats are subjects that in it trigger a deep feeling of connection and protection, as in children. It may sometimes be a man-woman thing. But only to burn it down would not do justice to the many, many men here who feel deep love and connection to their cats. As rough as it sounds: I would separate myself from you if you were with my cats as I would recognize a basic behavioral pattern behind it that it would do with my incompatible – also and in particular – in the long term.
Maybe with my view & interpretations on your shields I could help you see your girlfriend and you better and/or other.
all the best
PS:
As formulated in my longer comment as a response to your input text: The top view of the situation is “the node”. People who have cats and children usually do not have such expensive furniture and so clean apartments that have a clear, straight and stylish style, because this works only in catalogues for these furniture as a sales fraud. Or, you have a cat breed at home that was bred for such furniture. In the past, such people have also let the cats pull out. What is now considered animal quality and is forbidden. There are nude cats so that no hair is lying around. Allergic cats etc. Definitely it is also noticeable? I speak here of things (objects) and objective subjects (extended cat breeds that were made suitable for objects). If you really want to have children, differentiate yourself from structure, undamaged floors and walls, from expensive sofas etc. Or, however, make out of your children objective subjects, such as the breeding cats. By the way, it is also reversed: Many people subjective objects such as cell phones, cars, etc. Most often the undamaged existence of these dead objects of use is more important than a functioning, deep binding to a subject (human, animal).
No, her behavior is not sick. She’s just a pet person, you’re probably not going. If you love and keep animals, you are also ready to accept certain restrictions. I also love pets and would never leave my cats. My cats also don’t scratch doors, just seldom throw things down that can get broken, don’t knock on cables anymore and it doesn’t stink in the apartment (because it’s already heard by a lot of visitors that it doesn’t stink at all, I can only explain myself through the right cat litter, but I never found that with other people the cats would stink in the whole apartment).
You know that cats are hairy before you get them. A bit can be counteracted by regular brushing, but haare will always exist. Also cats scratch on the sofa is often the case and you know that before. Then I would wait with an expensive sofa if necessary and get it only when the cats went over the rainbow bridge. Also gives used beautiful sofas that are not so expensive and where a few kratzers are not so bad. With a fussel shaver you can also use threads that look out just shave, then it doesn’t look so bad anymore.
I have no problem driving a rare way because of my pets. But if you want to drive away once, it has never been a problem to find someone who supplies the cats. And when I go away, I miss the cats even after a short time, which is why I don’t think it’s bad to drive a rare way.
May I ask: What kind of scatter do you use? It’s not that it stinks with us, but so a little Odeur blows through the house even with constant cleaning of the cat’s clot…
Use the premiere excellent pure streu, which is fine lumping streu without smell. A little more expensive, but if you used the time, you don’t want any more…
I’ll take “Biokat ́s Mikrostreu Classic”. Circa 10€ the kilo, but it smells so nix more and the cats are great.
Ah, I slipped in the line yesterday and assigned your comment to another user, sorry.
That’s the joke.
I don’t know. It doesn’t seem to be quite excellent to minimize the complete scent.*zwinker*
Animals are family members. Would you give your kids away later if they’re dirty?
The apartment is also not destroyed by the cats, at most the facility. You can always replace them.
I don’t see them as family members, but just as animals.
I understand the point, but I have little desire to constantly buy new ones, the money could be saved and invested in better ones. And as already described in the text, this is not very favorable in part.
In the case of children you also often have to buy new ones {it is already enormous as fast as they grow out of clothes}.
And children are not very cheap.
And by the way, even children will be the more mobile they will make a lot of plaster and build crap.
As formulated in my longer comment as a response to your input text: The top view of the situation is “the node”. People who have cats and children usually do not have such expensive furniture and so clean apartments that have a clear, straight and stylish style, because this works only in catalogues for these furniture as a sales fraud. Or, you have a cat breed at home that was bred for such furniture. In the past, such people have also let the cats pull out. What is now considered animal quality and is forbidden. There are nude cats so that no hair is lying around. Allergic cats etc. Definitely it is also noticeable? I speak here of things (objects) and objective subjects (extended cat breeds that were made suitable for objects). If you really want to have children, differentiate yourself from structure, undamaged floors and walls, from expensive sofas etc. Or, however, make out of your children objective subjects, such as the breeding cats. By the way, it is also reversed: Many people subjective objects such as cell phones, cars, etc. Most often the undamaged existence of these dead objects of use is more important than a functioning, deep binding to a subject (human, animal).
You don’t have to buy new stuff all the time. The furniture of cat owners looks just as they look.
The responsibility that FREIWILLIG has taken over is NOT KANKHAFT!
How do you get that idea?
You got the animals together. So you are also responsible for them until you end your life.
And that cats in the apartment also break something, you have to count on it and do it usually also BEVOR you get it or before you get an expensive sofa or the like.
And the rest of your problems?
The cat clot stinks? MACHINES
There’s hair lying around? Use the vacuum cleaner!
The cat scratches where she shouldn’t scratch? Take care of her something she can live on her natural instincts.
The cats are disturbing if you want to drive away? WHAT DO YOU DO?
First to a point:
“Small examples: living room door full of deep scratches, decoration of the more often thrown down and broken, knocked on cables, scratches in the new 700€ sofa uvm.”
That sounds like the cats aren’t really loaded. How are you doing your cats? And how often and long a day?
Second:
Your friend’s behavior is NOT sick. She loves the cats and sees them as family members. You brought the animals together, you have to take care of them together.
I think ohr should talk to each other alone. Listen to what the other one has to say and let him speak. It would be stupid if your relationship was suffering from cats. I fully understand your point of view when the cats destroy everything, it’s totally annoying and getting sauteuer quickly. My animals are also family for me, and I would give them for nothing in the world. Now the cats are here, and you both have a responsibility towards them. Vlt. you should see that you’re wearing the cats more and busy. For example, with fishing games, skill play, laser pointer etc.
So, keep quiet as it goes on.
Sounds to me like the cats aren’t exhausted and you have to change your behavior so that the cats don’t do it anymore.
My cat has been exposed and is supposed to have scratched with these people, etc., but with me she has never broken anything, she has once tried to scratch the couch, then I have vaccinated and she left it. She’s never done anything down. And she’s been with me for seven years now. Believe the trick is that I’m working with her and that’s why she’s balanced. :
There’s nothing sick about that.
If you get animals to the house, ADÄQUAT has to take care of it. You’re BEIDE.
It is not the failure of the cats if you do not care. The cat’s cloister doesn’t clean up by itself. You do it every day. The fact that hairy animals also lose haare should be clear to everyone. So it means that you suck daily.
Even if cats can be quite egoists, they can be pampered to scratch all the furniture or create themselves at the decoration.
Cats need – if they are only kept in the apartment – play possibilities. And also many scratches. Whether scratching (what my cats do not like) or scratching boards.
Honestly? Who has an absurd idea of animal husbandry here is you.
If she’s smart, she sees you’re a bad person and separates herself from you.
I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you’re here the problem
And pet man and no pet man just don’t fit together.
I think it’s not about “she’s okay” and “he’s not okay”, but both are as well as they’re totally okay, just maybe not permanently compatible. But even here we are not in it, but are only superficial observers of a one-sided representation of the whole. In principle, however, I am with you when you say that this may be difficult to unite.
Nothing is sick of taking care of the animals that have been put on. You could have known that cats are dirty and you can’t just drive away so spontaneously. If you still have cats for your girlfriend, that is your own fault
Before that it was not a problem, the circumstances now change. What I mean with sick is that she keeps doing everything after the cats and not after what she wants.
If you have children, the same thing will happen. If you have children, you have to dress up as well as everything after you and have to put your own diffractions back.
Almost everything you care about the cats will come to you with children.
Pets are family members, of course, in certain situations they must be addressed. If you were to deal with them again, the furniture would also be spared – you must also want what does not seem to be the case with you.
And please, never children! Against these cats are completely harmless…
The beautiful thing about cats is that they deal with each other and do not have to go outside. So they don’t need a 24-hour reception of people, half day they sleep.
When you go on holiday, someone can come to feeding or you bring them to parents, friends etc.
Get NIEMALS a dog, please. So you two are special now. Basically, dogs are great family members.
Well, your parents would have given you better if it was difficult for her
As said circumstances change, both work in shiftwork, it is very difficult to take care of them.
The case is clear: it’s “peace man”, you don’t. Leave this with the apartment when you tremble with these problems, it has no future.
Unfortunately, I’ve also thought about it, but we both want to live in an apartment where we don’t have to pay rent.
I understand. And as I said, it’s not going to…