Is this a poem?
Hellođź‘‹, I would like to know if this is a poem and am open to improvements
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What is the meter of the poem and please don't write that there is no meter.
Sounds like you’re in love. I don’t think it’s so good. Especially the last line. You’re actually putting yourself in a drawer. I would write poems in general something more emotional and with rhymes. But everyone is the Seine.
Thank you very much
The forefoot and the rhymes do not vote.
Free rhythms. It’s modern.
Sure, because you don’t have to.
The rap proposed it. Then basically everything is a poem.
Thank you.
What’s a forefoot?
Example for foot:
it COMMT a MAN and SPEAK me ON,
as JEmand NUR so SCHĂ–N his CAN.
In the beginning, you’re reaping, and that’s partly lost. Either everything reimulates like in 1 -4 (abba) or even no mime.
The inland rhyme in verse 1 seems strange (“I am small, my heart is pure …”).
“you hear my cry” it must be called.
“hear” – “nerd” is not a beautiful rhyme. In general, the word “Nerd” bothers me.
The verses are different lengths, that goes in modern poetry.
The penultimate verse is cumbersome: “I feel that…” This is easier, more direct and more effective.
Title:
Where are you?
Do you hear me?
It also has to be “after someone” and “think you”
hot, big/small spell is not true – that
I guess you have to overlook everything.
Terrible! What is the M…?
Just write it right first! This is how you start to make poems!
Your text improves so that it sounds >
________________________________________________________
I don’t fit in. And feel small.
Where’s my heart? I just had it.
Now there’s only one hole!
You were there and I felt myself
no longer alone. But you’re gone
I wonder:
Do you hear my scream?
Because I’m screaming for someone who hears me!
And I feel you are.
You think I’m crazy?
_______________________________
So and now a spontaneous Example-sealed of which > // = verse end
_______________________________
In spring it was in March
I don’t fit in. (measure v-v-v-v- )
And where is it, my heart?
I feel very small.
I don’t want him, the pain! //
You yell in.
And you are, my heart!
I’m not alone anymore.
This is not a stupid joke! //
I am your heart,
but hard as iron ore.
I haven’t seen that yet.
In spring it was in March. //
_______________________________________________________________
Many ideas, lots of games – like a puzzle with words – and success!
So please read articles not the poem
Two. Pure and inaccessible.
3. Is suggesting the second improvement is a completely different poem
to 3. Good that you write this – my poem is already intended for sale in a volume of poems (Lyrik 2023).