Is there something wrong with me?

Question

Because I'm ashamed, I have to ask my question anonymously. I'm not feeling well right now either, and I'm asking for honest answers.

My problem since school has been that I've had problems with other people and I experience these problems very intensely. I got my high school diploma and went to university, even got a master's degree. I was something of an outsider at school, and at university too. I met my husband at university; he is quiet and shy. It wouldn't have worked out for us any other way. My parents and little sister were always my substitute for a circle of friends. I've now changed jobs for the third time; I'm 30. There have always been problems with other people, I can't handle conflicts and feel totally attacked. In my second-to-last job, my boss gave me negative feedback about my behavior, so I took three months off sick to find something new.

Last week was my first day in my new job. I can now work mostly from home, which I think is better for me because of the problems I'm having with other people. The woman who's supposed to train me starts at 10 am, and that's really bad for me because I want to start early. So, there are problems again.

I can't accept something like that.

And I admit, if someone doesn't have my level of education, I secretly think that I'm better than that person and I don't want to be subordinate.

I'm sorry, but it's true. It's hard for me to accept instructions when I know my boss might not have the same level of education as me. That's one of the reasons I wanted to stay at university, but it didn't work out there either. I was criticized, so I left.

But I don't see myself as arrogant because I'm also very insecure and often anxious. For example, I can't sleep alone in my apartment, so I go to my parents' house.

My question to you: Do you think I might have a personality disorder? A colleague at my old job once told me I perceive things differently than they actually are and often exaggerate. But she phrased it differently.

totenprinz · Answer

Hey!) It sounds like you have difficulty dealing with criticism and social situations, which can indicate deeper problems 🙈🙈

It might be helpful to talk to a therapist about your fears, uncertainties and behavior. product️

This can give you clarity and show ways to deal better with conflicts and interpersonal relationships.

wertzuiop385 · Answer

Hey, mkr's fine.

I'm still on the high school student. I'm always so calm and I'm not talking to anyone. My friend's book is dusting in the corner and I'm still waiting for the moment to give it to someone. I don't have any friends. Sometimes I was so lonely that I was just about to cut my throat. I've got my twin sister, she's always comforting me. I'm most hated in class. I'm so intertwined. I don't dare say a word. But I think the lessons are really very easy and I'm very intelligent, but I don't dare to report to the class. I don't like to accept instructions from, for example, my English teacher. Because he always sits so lazy and sometimes I feel he's stupid as I am. I'm always afraid that if I go to work later, I'm still so shy. But my teacher told the parents that she was exactly like that. That's why I'm taking them as a model and I think I'll be like that. But I often think I messed up. I don't know why I'm so shy, but I think so much. For not talking so much, I think more.

Even if you don't believe it, but there are many such people in the world, so you and I are quite normal. If you want to send me a FA, we can share some of our experiences.

LG.

warai87 · Answer

In any case, it is very good that you are aware of the problem and can make it so open in words. This is the very important first step. The next step, in my opinion, can only be a visit to a psychologist, because amateur diagnostics are not so true, not in physical disorders, and not in psychological disorders. I think you'll be able to think about yourself: if sensitivity and conflict inability go to such an extent that you have to change the job all the time, that definitely exceeds the framework in which you can do it as a mere “personality feature” and don't worry about it anymore. It affects your life already strong and you suffer from it. And you should get help.

I do not perceive myself as arrogant because I am also very uncertain and often have fears

I don't see a contradiction, on the contrary. If you have complexes because of something, you always try to turn the opposite to the outside.

By the way, as a little comfort for you, I don't automatically find arrogance bad. I decide whether the arrogance is covered by competence (and therefore justified) or not. In my opinion, people who place high demands on themselves are right to also place high demands on others. …although not to be able to accept instructions from someone, only because it has a lower degree of education, that goes too far, because why someone can have a lower degree can have various reasons that lie outside of intelligence and competence. But I suspect that you basically know that, but in dealing with human beings, you'll get into thinking and behavioral patterns. Who knows, maybe in your childhood you had to fight to be taken seriously, and that's why these patterns have established themselves.

I also have a lower degree than you. I hope my answer is therefore not null and void 😉

mohnblume611 · Answer

I think you sound very self-reflected and intelligent. (very much more than me ;-)))

From therapies I personally nothing, I would turn to a good (!) coach. Because it's about you not feeling so comfortable. And perhaps it would be nice to deal with others, to be patient and to be able to withstand conflicts. You can say your opinion without leaving. You can be yourself with all your quirks.

Good luck to you!