Ich will ein Buch schreiben wie findet ihr den ersten Kapitel?
Der Tod kommt auf leisen Sohlen
Kapitel 1: Der Auftrag
Hallo ich schreibe es aus eigener Erfahrung.Als ich 13 war ist es passiert also noch mal von vorne.Es war ein Junge Namens Liam.Er war jung und schon bekannt bei jeder Polizeistation.Ich wurde vom Geheimdienst gesucht als ich einen Auftrag bei der Maffia annam.Ich sollte einen Aus dem Geheimdienst Töten er gab mir eine Spritze und ein Zettel.Auf dem Stand:
Ziel:Christian Langarm
Tötung Weiße: Ein Gift das in einer Woche einwirkt.
Wohnort: Deutschland, Heilbronn
Geschlecht:männlich
Belohnung: 10000000
(1 votes)
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I ignore the many spelling and grammar errors.
I’d look at it less than a first chapter, but more than a prologue. It’s too short for a chapter.
It reads like it was written by a 12-year-old. Intently over the top. I don’t mean insulting – I didn’t think it was any different at that time. It’s very overshot and not to take it seriously.
That’s what boys (and girls) have in themselves that they’re young.
Wait a minute, the Mafia is taking a 13-year-old? And commission him (or her) to murder someone? Krass. They’re getting more ruthless.
This is very specific. Does this have a reason that the effect of the poison should develop exactly one week after administration or is it just… specific because specific? Needless details to have details? I used to do it a lot.
Random number throwing into the room, main thing it sounds like a lot of money. Big numbers cool! And you forgot the points: 10,000,000 and then you have to decide for a currency, but I guess it’s supposed to be € as the story is playing in Germany. Or is it Germany in the future? Well.
Everything in a not very good one, but you shouldn’t let it get under. Just write on, even if it’s bad. You have to let your creativity out.
The story doesn’t sound very creative and, in my opinion, makes little sense. The spelling and drawing is cruel.
My tip: give you more time for a story and consider exactly what you want to write. Especially focus on history and characters.
And please read what you wrote several times.
Before you write a real story, please refer more to word choice and synonyms etc.
Because your text is just a hindrance of facts, as lacks feeling, understand, situation statements etc.
It’s just bad
Dear children does not ask if a try is good, in an attempt it is always garbage.
First of all, don’t say you can’t write a book because of spelling errors, etc. I have Legasthenie and still like to write for my life. The improvement of my texts will take a little while and I need someone to look at it.
As far as your word choice and formulation is concerned, you can go a very big bit. But everyone starts somewhere.
Make yourself a lot of good books and make notes why you found them good. Also pay attention to the formulations.
Writing is an art you have to learn first. Read and see tutorials about storytelling and writing about art. (Formulations etc.) and practice this with your own history.
Write your story, no matter how good or bad it is. The first design is always bad, even for professionals. Learn and practice, rework your stories, learn and practice, and then become a good book from your book idea, at some point.
Don’t let yourself be discouraged here. Yes, they’re right, but who I look at my first stories I wrote. See them very similar. X-D
Thank you.
Hello,
I think the story of itself could be good when you grow it. Describe the thoughts best. People should also have feelings. Above all, I think it is important to build the tension properly, with the points just mentioned helping.
I recommend that you pay attention to spelling, grammar, drawing and co.
I used to write books and can say from my experience that you should write on. With more exercise you write better and you should finish the book anyway.
beautiful day
I wouldn’t write a book with such a grammar. Is definitely not pleasant to read.
Unfortunately, you do not rule the spelling or the drawing, so the whole has the charm of a moderate essay.
Okay.
Gramatically completely next and 10,000,000 for a contract murder is more unrealistic than aliens in my closet.
Yes I know but it’s someone from secret service
So? This will cost you around €50,000 to €100,000 in a western country, not several million.
I don’t think
I’m really bad. Has spelling errors, is brutal and somehow disgusting, don’t need World War II vibes. Didn’t you have a childhood that you have to write such a brutal thing at your age? —
Why it should be a crime
a krimi works with tension, baits do not throw up completely, but only in batches zb so your main character clears it
I don’t see any of this tension
Hey, you,
I think it’s good. From spelling errors you should not be able to write a story. And a criminal should give them exactly these vibes. If you rework everything, it’ll be very cool. I would take it as a prologue, and then incorporate more feelings, thoughts, sensory impressions, etc. in the chapters. I believe in you. Everyone started small and that’s not bad. Have fun writing!
Greetings,
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