Ich habe ein Gedicht über Einsamkeit geschrieben, wie findet ihr es?

Being social, open and funny is a blessing

A Blessing it is to be loving your voice, talking to others

A blessing until it turns out to be a curse

And it is a curse, when suddenly you sit alone

Alone surrounded by people

But all of them ignoring you, ignoring your exsistenz

senseless it seems, when everything is loud, but you are quiet

The Silence is new, eating your soul

The soul that was so precious, so openminded, so creative

But all ot that is gone and all thats left is silence

A silence full of self-doubt and self-talk

Suddenly your mind feels like prison,

keeping you away from talking

keeping you away from being all you were before

And especially keeping you away from yourself

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Mauritan
10 months ago

It’s not bad, but you don’t get nobel prize.

Sealing art is very, very difficult and you need a very intensive relationship with your own language. In a foreign language, it’s rare.

Therefore my advice: Write in German. Properly good literature has always been written in their own native language.

xMueckenLederx
10 months ago

Vocabulary of a student.

Could be more stylistic.