I'm afraid of going to a bar/club?
Hello,
I (M/18) am kind of afraid of going to a bar or a club. I've never been inside one, but I'm really scared to go inside. I don't really know why. The people inside don't really care who goes in anyway.
I'm currently on a school trip, and the people in my class wanted to watch Switzerland vs. Germany at a public viewing, but that would only be possible in a larger bar. I stood in front of the entrance, but I just didn't dare go in. Now I'm the only person here in the hotel, and I had to do something to combat an anxiety attack that wasn't triggered by the bar, but by my class itself.
What could be the reason for this? I'd really like to do something like this with my class on a school trip, but I don't dare… It makes me so sad.
(3 votes)
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Generally, the most effective method of losing fears is consciously and voluntarily standing through and dealing with his fear and going into confrontation. I (19) have been suffering from various anxiety and panic disorders since my 9 year of life and only knows too well that this sounds much easier than it is. I can only advise you not to postpone it or to find it because it will only get worse (at least according to my experience), especially if you want to go with yourself and get in touch with yourself by this fear. You may also be looking for a therapist (e.g. a conversational or behavioral therapist) depending on how big your suffering pressure is or you are trying to talk to good friends about it which might then be able to stand by you.
This is also useful in small steps in order not to overwrite yourself with the situation, for example to go somewhere where many people are outside, but at any time you have the opportunity to remove from this situation (somewhere on a market or festival) and then perhaps to gradually increase the time in the crowd. Then you can also try to go to the crowd alone and then go slowly towards the interiors.
But that only as an example scenario, of course you need to know how, where and with whom you want to address the topic. It is only important not to withdraw more and more at such moments or simply to accept that one cannot do that, because that definitely does not make it better.
I wish you a lot of strength and hope that I could help you out
You keep yourself up. What is the worst thing that can happen from a neutral perspective? Just go, go with me, think less about what can happen next. Enjoy what just happens when it’s something nice from your point of view.
But if you really realize that you don’t feel comfortable, that’s the way. We’re being told that it’s normal that you have to get in and do everything to be cool and belong to it. Do that where you notice this is good for DIR. You live to feel good and live a beautiful life. And don’t live to please others.
Most of the time, I don’t realize at the moment that I sneaked away… I want to go with you, but I’m inhibiting myself without noticeing anything…
I can understand that feeling. I am also in the learning process to ignore inhibitions and make it easy. You can get it. Everything is possible and you always have the choice.
If an entire class enters a bar, the focus is not on you. You don’t have to be afraid. You know, if you could have had an eye on what it looks like in there and what’s going on. Would have been the opportunity. You missed that now. Too bad. You could have gone anytime after you looked. Or you could have had fun with your classmates. Why don’t you hang on to a friend?
If you don’t have friends, if you don’t have fun, then become self-confident. Maybe you’re too shy?