I have no control over my body, why?
I'm 15 and for the last 4 or 3 years I've sometimes had attacks where I can no longer control myself and well, I try to kill myself, I don't want to but my thoughts get louder and louder but they're not mine and then I do it but that's not me, luckily I was able to stop it before I cut my wrists, but it's getting worse and more frequent, I don't know what to do or whether I can still do anything about it.
I sit quietly in my room crying, I can't move, I can only see my hand taking the scissors and slowly trying to cut my wrists, I cry because I don't want to, I want to live.
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You should contact a doctor. The state you describe is probably either psychotic or dissociative.
Get some help.
Unfortunately, it is not so easy
In some federal states, there is something like a social-psychological service that can convey.
You can also try at 116117 to get at least one appointment with any doctor. It should then be able to assess the severity of your illness and, if necessary, can accelerate further help.
Pick up a psychiatric facility. Now.
There I was forced to do things I didn’t want and it wasn’t really helpful