I'm afraid of myself?
I don't know what to do and I'm scared.
I'm 22, female, and a student. I have a small circle of friends, a great family, and a job I truly love. But I don't feel well. I struggle every day with the meaninglessness of life, can't enjoy the little moments like others do, and constantly worry about everything.
In 2018, I became depressed and finally overcame it on my own after two years because I was too ashamed to seek help. Since then, I've felt different; somehow, the rose-colored glasses have disappeared.
During the coronavirus pandemic, I developed a mild social phobia, but I got it under control again. Then, in 2021, I had a relapse – my phagophobia, which I had as a child but wasn't diagnosed at the time. I managed to get it under control on my own.
Shortly thereafter, I entered a relationship where, over the next three years, until mid-2024, I experienced psychological and, on one occasion, physical violence. Memory lapses, heart palpitations, crying fits, sometimes at the most inappropriate times…
I wanted to do it alone again, and for the first few moments I managed it.
But for the past two months I've been having depressive days.
I don't know what's happening to me. I just want to live my life and be happy. But somehow I have this constant feeling that I can't do it. I fight my negative thoughts every single day, and it's so exhausting. I'm too deep. Too serious. Too lazy and unfocused, because I only do things I enjoy—and I do them right. But I'd like to be the opposite. Disciplined, talented, and just have a successful career, enough money, a relationship, family/friends, and good weather…
My parents are coaches, and I'm studying education/social work myself and have a lot of knowledge. Still, things aren't getting better. I hate the dilemma of being supposed to help others, and now I almost need help myself…
I finally want to live a simpler life and just be cool with everything and have fun. Laugh and spend time with people. Not constantly feel like I have to be or achieve something to be happy. Or have something to be happy.
How do you do that? How can you be happy and not constantly think deeply about everything?
(4 votes)
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Yeah, as you see, you just didn’t make it by yourself, you’re not out of your problems.
Find help, do a therapy, etc.
“The shoemaker has the most broken shoes”
You need help from outside. Because when you work, people come to you because they need your help. So why are you ashamed?
Just because you’re in the social profession, you don’t have to do everything alone!
Please get help. There are psychosocial counselling points, it goes fast, without waiting time. Or online http://www.Sorgen-Tagebuch.de for example.
Only courage! 🍀💜
to play with eternal theory and spirit? this is the mass irreal!
create a training with manual activities! physical challenge at sun and rain . you can fundamentally also be mentally required .
You do this pressure yourself and you don’t want to be burdened by anyone.
But if intressed it must sometimes think egoistically, of course, life has no meaning but is completely banal when intressed it will do what you’ve got.
This is my advice to you on what you’ve got and don’t waste time in therapies.
Make party with friends scream out the window buy an ice cream and throw it against the wall you are a person with a free will.
Well, who knows about neuropsychology knows that there is no free will. Our brain decides 7-10 seconds before we do something if we really will. The only thing we determine freely is self-regulation