How do I do that?

Hello Cooli225,

To truly change something, you have to dig deeper. And you can be confident that your efforts will pay off. First, you might want to consider what the possible causes of your lack of self-confidence might be.

One reason could be a distorted self-perception. Perhaps you've gotten into the habit of focusing more on your negative aspects than your positive ones, which has led to a distorted self-image over time. Another reason could be that you've endured an unusually high level of criticism in the past and rarely received praise. So what can you do?

A first step could be to try to become more aware of your valuable qualities and abilities! It may not be easy for you to discover your strengths, but I'm sure there are a few things about you that make you special!

A key to greater self-esteem is also accepting and embracing yourself . Could this be your problem? Ask yourself how often you criticize and put yourself down because of your appearance, your achievements, or your abilities. Stop doing this! Self-criticism can generally be helpful, but if you have low self-confidence, like you do, you should be very cautious about it at first.

Many people have this constant inner critic within them, but ultimately, you can decide for yourself how big you let it become. Constantly putting yourself down doesn't help you. On the contrary: You'll increasingly rob yourself of your self-respect, and your self-esteem will plummet!

If you have gotten into the habit of blaming yourself for little things, it would be much better if you pointed out your mistakes React with understanding and kindness . The more you focus on your strengths and positive qualities, the more self-confidence you will be able to build! But if you focus more on your mistakes and shortcomings, you will find it very difficult to see yourself in a balanced light.

Do you find yourself easily unsettled by what others say about you? You can do something about it: If, for example, someone puts you down or treats you disrespectfully in some other way, you don't have to simply accept it. You can explain to the person in a matter-of-fact but firm tone what you don't like about their behavior or speech.

A good step toward more self-confidence would also be to seek security within yourself rather than in others. Otherwise, you'll easily become dependent on the judgment of others. Always remember that your opinion counts just as much as anyone else's! And if you think everyone else is better than you, then set a mental switch that steers your thinking in a different direction!

It would be better if you learned to trust your own abilities and judgment and made your own decisions . However, remain open to criticism and be willing to correct yourself when necessary. This way, you'll take more responsibility for yourself, which in turn can have a positive effect on your self-confidence.

Let's talk again about criticism from others, which can really dent your self-esteem. As long as it's objective criticism, you don't need to feel condemned as a whole person! Instead, think about how the criticism can help you move forward.

And if someone criticizes you for your appearance or behavior, consider it their personal opinion, nothing more and nothing less! Other people may see things completely differently. There's no reason to let stupid comments unsettle you!

Another tip to boost your self-confidence is to muster the courage to say no sometimes. Sometimes others ask you to do things that you know are either not good for you or might be overwhelming. In those cases, a firm no is appropriate. Remember: You can decide whether and to what extent you accommodate the wishes and demands of others! If you try to please everyone, you'll end up losing out!

Then I'd like to mention another important point that's closely related to self-confidence. It's about your personal charisma, that is, how you come across to those around you. This starts with, for example, your posture or what you express to others through your facial expressions and gestures.

For example, if you straighten your body, you will radiate more self-confidence, which in turn will have an impact on your feelings. Speaking can also be crucial. Try to Speaking loudly and clearly makes others hear you. Don't consider what you have to say unimportant or insignificant! Your opinion counts, too, not just those of others!

So you see, there are a number of ways to work specifically on your self-confidence. Don't be discouraged if progress doesn't come as quickly as you'd like. Developing more self-confidence is like constant training. And if you don't give up, you'll notice more and more positive changes in yourself.

And one last word: If you believe in God, the following thought might also help you: God considers you personally important! Yes, each individual means something to Him, and He gladly cares for those who are downcast and depressed. This is beautifully expressed in several places in the Bible.

Here it says, for example: "I, the High and Exalted One… dwell on high, in the sanctuary. But I also dwell with those who are sad and oppressed. I give them new courage and restore them to hope" (Isaiah 57:15, New International Version ). Isn't it good to know that God cares for those who are depressed due to various life circumstances? You can find it helpful to tell him everything that's on your heart in prayer!

I hope these tips help you gradually build more self-esteem! Don't put pressure on yourself, as everything takes time, especially when it comes to thinking and feeling!

LG Philipp