Help! Is this a haiku?
Hello!
I'd like to give my boyfriend something personal and thought I could write him a poem. Unfortunately, I'm not particularly talented at it and have never done anything like this before. So I wanted to try a haiku, since haikus are very short poems. But now I've realized that haikus aren't actually that easy to write… 😅 I now have a draft that I'm more or less happy with, and I'd like to know if my poem even counts as a haiku!
Here is my poem:
Brown eyes
Just a glance
My heart warms
Thank you for your help! I'm also happy to receive suggestions for improvements!
(1 votes)
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A beautiful idea from you.
“Haikus” usually have a certain dimension.
“Japanese Haiku usually consist of three word groups of 5 – 7 – 5 syllables (moren), whereby the words are arranged vertically in the word groups. … Unpredictable part of Haiku are concreteness and reference to the present. Especially traditional sharks indicate a season with the kigo. The unfinished, open texts, which only complete themselves in the experience of the reader, are also considered to be essential. In the text not everything is said, feelings are rarely called. They are only to emerge through the concrete things listed and the context.”
That’s what Wikipedia says.
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku
Maybe so.
Brown eyes
My heart becomes soft and open
Just by a look.
Beautiful Christmas!
Wow! Thank you very much.
I have read that this is outdated with the 5-7-5 syllables, because one cannot equate the moren from Japanese with our syllables and therefore most German writers use 10-14 syllables in a shark.
https://www.schreib.net/artikel/haiku-4017/
If you take into account the 10-14 syllables and not the 5-7-5 syllables rule, then my poem would still be a shark?
Thank you for your answer and your poem!
Also beautiful Christmas! 🙂
Just do it as you feel fit from the feeling! 😊
(I’m not a juror for Haikus…)
Thank you for the ‘Sternchen’ from you! 😊
And a good annual sound!
“May it be a favor!” 🙏
Okay, thanks.
I think I will let your suggestion flow into my poem, so that I still keep the verse!
Deep brown eyes
My heart is open and warm
Only with a view
Thank you for your help! I am very happy with the Haiku!