Girlfriend has alcohol addiction?
Hello, I have a problem.
I'm only 20 and my girlfriend is 38. We've only been in an online relationship since the beginning of this year. During our relationship, her mother unfortunately passed away, and since then, my girlfriend has had a drinking problem and drinks weekly. She also has a not-so-great past, and she's suffering.
Now, my problem is that I'm still so young and I think the idea of moving in together is really nice and exciting, but I just can't handle an alcoholic. It's so common, and then she makes me jealous when she's drunk. I do want her as a friend because she's really great when she's sober, but this alcohol is taking over, and I'm worried that I'll find out one day that she's "drunk herself to death," since she knows no bounds and easily drinks a bottle of vodka in one sitting.
My life is still so long, and I don't want to suffer anymore. I love her, but I have no guarantee that she'll ever stop. She says she will, but never does. I just don't really see a future for her. She may have moved on from her life, but I haven't moved on from mine. I don't know. I think it's selfish of me to leave her after such a stroke of fate, and it will probably cause her even more grief, but I just can't do this anymore.
How would you act? I mean, there's no basis for a future.
(1 votes)
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You don’t have a problem.Your girlfriend has a problem.It’s not selfish to leave her when she goes to her addiction.
Many partners slip into the so-called co-existence for a short or long time and suffer from addiction.
In the long term, a separation will be the best for you.A problematic past, a addiction disease and any other circumstances we do not know here are simply not a good basis for a healthy relationship.
Good luck!
Thank you.
Barley
That you don’t meet in natura also makes the separation a little, “easier” in the sense that if you need it, you can block it everywhere and you probably don’t know anyone from your real environment who could contact it
Hello!
Go to an Al-Anon meeting and let your eyes open what it means to live with someone who needs alcohol: https://al-anon.de/meeting-find/
The questioner does not live with his girlfriend, but has never met her. They only exchange messages (probably via messenger services).
Hi Lenndergut,
I find it very difficult to advise you whether you should end the relationship or not. This is one thing that you can only decide on your own.
I believe that as good as all people have their bigger and smaller problems – with different strategies to deal with them. Certainly alcohol is not the healthiest way to deal with grief and worries.
I think you need to think about what’s okay for you in a relationship and what’s not. No one is perfect, but of course you don’t have to live with everything a:e partner brings in.
If she’s important to you, my first idea would be to talk to her about it. Does she show her eyes? Do they want to change their consumption? Can and do you want to support them? Then you can think about whether it can’t have a future.
But if it’s clear to you that you can’t carry on the relationship, you don’t have to have a bad conscience. Your life is as important as yours. And that’s why it’s important to protect yourself.
Best regards
Peter vom DigiStreet-Team der Drughilfe Schwaben
PS. You can also get online advice, for example here:
https://www.suchtberatung.digital/
What do you mean weekly?
Very common drink. Tense from daily, several days per week.
is a huge difference.