Use violence for self-defense (child-rearing)?
What do you think about telling children to hit other children when they're attacked, bullied, or teased? That they should react with violence to defend themselves. After all, they shouldn't let themselves be pushed around.
If you consider this method to be wrong, what conflict resolution methods and options should be taught to children?
Maybe there are some parents here who can share their experiences. I'd be interested 🙂
(5 votes)
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Previously, I answer as:
Former bullying victim with suicidal tendencies, (at the age of 10-13)
Former international competition
And now also as a psychologist
In the case of bullying, violence is a bad solution, ABER any other solution is worse. Sorry, is not politically correct, but is a fact.
It is a problem that cannot be solved verbally by the bully victim. You can still be ready to beat and turned to word (be it first with 12), the others will always have the advantage of the crowd. Humiliation may still be so primitive and stupid, your answer may be so smart and ready to beat,she will fall in the laughter of the crowd.
The teachers are usually completely bound by their hands because they are not allowed to go beyond the laws and society has now decided to categorize physical violence beyond psychological violence. Doesn’t sound wild, but in plain language, that a slap is less socially accepted than systematically driving someone into suicide.
Changing school is just a conditional solution because it does not have any underestimating effects when someone is forced to escape from others. Mentally chases you for a lifetime.
Ads do not even bring anything, because something like this is dropped in 99% of all cases and the display in the bulls usually even holds as a status symbol.
However, if a mobber is beaten together in a crowd, one breaks his pride, he will always remember how the supposed victim has finished him before everyone. He’ll never understand you again after that, just as little as anyone who saw it.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not propagating violence here. Violence is always an act of despair. But I understand well if the despair point is exceeded in this case.
Thank you for your answer. I understand what you mean.
Problem about this: today, unfortunately, it often happens that the mobber comes later with his big Brudaz and then beats you to the hospital. Unfortunately, there is no longer a “fairen” Einseinser…
This! so much!
It depends on the child and the conflict it has to bear.
In general, it is possible to use the mirror in child education, because often the children are not aware of what they do. If they get counter-force, a lot of things will be clearer.
I can tell of my children when they were in kindergarten, that they were fighting against violent children all by themselves and pushed back or beaten. After that they were never attacked again. The thing is that you have to show the children that this does not always work and when they get older have other means. However, the child must also bring a certain degree of understanding, which most children only show after the kindergarten age.
In general, it can be said that counter-force is not always correct, but often the better choice is to keep unpopular contemporaries from the throat.
This is the completely wrong thing children do not know the legal situation
Just because someone makes you psychic doesn’t mean you can beat him he’ll show you right away
But if they were to be explained that they could be finished in a place without witnesses, and then they would work on the fight against the ground.
How far are children usually not
Strike back when you’re attacked is absolutely okay.
To defend yourself when you are being abused sounds to me as if the teacher wanted to transfer responsibility to the students. No. This is a teacher’s job.
Violence should never be a possibility. Only a self-protection in attack, so if you are violently attacked.
“This is the task of a teacher.” The case of bullying, which has been permanently terminated by teachers, is still desperately sought worldwide.
“Administration should never be a possibility.” Of course, violence can be a possibility.
When can violence be a possibility?
“If you mean to be successful, please.” Been there, done that. check
If you mean to be successful, please.
Our opinions are now distorted.
You want to hit me for it now?
If the other is not interested in any solution and I’m no other way to make sure my wish for security. In case of doubt, I also have 0 problems to be the first. At the end, violence is one of many possible means to achieve my goals. It’s just a little less recognized than the psychological violence of the perpetrators in bullying.
Just as much as the attacker.
That’s completely out of line. –
Children are to be educated in peace and longevity – and above all Compassion and loving understanding of the actions of other people. And this works exclusively – as almost at all any educational measure in children – not with raised index finger and mere speech, but with real pre-lived good example…
Thank you for your answer.
What conflict solutions could you propose?
The proposed board of education, if it is consistently followed, will bear its finest fruits at times, effectively and sustainably prevent various unnecessary conflicts and lead to a healthy mental maturity – on both Pages.
In an existing conflict, it deeply impresses the children when the educator calls them to himself and every single person lovingly embraces them with no words and sensual smiling – and then asks the children (nearly begging) the same one another with one another with one another with one another with one another to do, to forgive each other, and Peace to close each other. –
In my childhood, many educators knew instinctively, conflicts among children sensual and spiritual to solve…
That’s how you grow Omegas.
“The proposed board of education, if one follows it consistently, will bear its finest fruits at times, effectively and sustainably prevent various unnecessary conflicts and lead to a healthy mental maturity – both Pages.” That’s all about it. Full mischief that brings exactly nothing if someone thinks the child is now due as a victim because you want to revalue yourself.
“In an existing conflict, it deeply impresses the children when the educator calls them to himself and every single person lovingly embraces them without words and conciliation – and then asks the children (nearly begging) the same one another with one another with one another with one another with one another to do, to forgive each other, and Peace to close each other. – “Do you think the garbage yourself? If a child also has to embrace the mobber lovingly smiling, it feels at most humiliated and will certainly reserve a place on the list for the educator in the case of an amok run…
Where are all the crazy Eso-Pazifists coming here?
Violence always produces counter-force (no matter whether active or passive).
The best method against bullying is not to enter the role of the bullying victim at all.
Depending on age is not easy, but in the meantime there are as many possibilities and concepts as you do not become a bully victim.
When I grow up, I have to take care of it myself (how does it stand with self-love when you make yourself a bully sacrifice?). In children it is the task of parents to help their children.
Life is called to take ownership.
My question is more about children under 12 years of age.
As soon as you become a parent, you have to contact the school, for example. We did 2-3 times during the school season of our children. Sometimes it’s not different. After that, the thing was eaten.
“Gewalt always produces counter-force (no matter whether active or passive).” In the example of the TE, violence is against a psychological violence…
“It’s not easy depending on age, but in the meantime there are as many possibilities and concepts as you don’t become a bully victim. “Jop this is really great in which you e.g. hit a tooth for the first time.
“In the case of children it is the task of parents to help their children.” Parents can ultimately do little. What should parents do?
“Life means taking responsibility.” Jop, Z.b., that you’re getting on your feet when you pick the wrong guy out. Is your own responsibility…
Very bad.
Violence is never a solution.
You can only insult yourself.
What solution should children learn?
Apprehend the attack and grow on it. Many attacks are simply irrelevant. Not worth the excitement and energy.
No one can offend one, a slap is also worth the racket.
Fight only if you are forced to do this, you are forced, you have made a mistake.
“Manage is never a solution.” What an absurd opinion.
“You can only insult yourself.” Then I can really tell you what I want and it’s not an insult? I can’t give you bulls whatever I do?
Mobben is always subjective. What the one feels as a successful joke is the same for the other, and sm ground is destroyed. However, does not justify any physical injury to the counterpart.
There is the possibility of educators, teachers, trainers, works council and justice. Fighting.
Mobbing doesn’t stop by hitting the victim back. The perpetrators often turn to the next victim.
It is also the role of the victim to shape change. To adjust the value system, the bullying no longer occurs and not after me the flood.
It’s simple and simple bullshit! Especially among young people there is a strong demand for status and recognition. When the victim joins the mobber in front of the assembled class, his status and “power” is there and he will hardly find anyone who takes him seriously and respects him.
“The Mobber has no fault, which it justifies to hurt its physical integrity never!” So what? The bullying victim has no guilt to hurt his mental health and honor. Never. Nobody is interested. But to protect the mobber, you’re getting crooked.
“It’s just wrong. Also rarely leads to success.” That’s a lie.
“There are thousands of ways to defend themselves without being handcuffed.” Well, tell us what. I’ll wait!
“It is precisely the “debt” of many victims of bullying, not to immediately initiate the legal steps!” You’re a Laberhanne. Show me a(!) Case in the school context in which it helped.
“There are really good anti-mobby concepts in none, the right to physical confrontation is anchored!” Strange in reality, they don’t seem to work. And why should the victim give more to the right of the perpetrators than the perpetrators give to his right? Disgusting as you’re just jumping the perpetrators.
“As soon as the victim gets out of the sacrificial role and actively deals with bullying, it means publicly seeking help and support, it will find the help too.” Have you fallen on your head? Mobbing happens publicly for the group. The class knows what’s happening. People still don’t help. Are you sure you’re failing to understand such basics?
“At the hill to violence, it’s not often the case that the bully is at the end of the one with the school identity!” Yes to punish the victim is German tradition. And then everyone is surprised when he comes to school with weapons and all the relatives like you and teachers are not spared. And I would say to everyone: the reference is worth it. Mainly, you made it clear that you don’t have a scruple and that the next one is still a lot more blunt. He’s so fucked up that he never forgets.
The Mobber has no fault that it justifies to hurt its physical integrity never! It’s just wrong. Also rarely leads to success. There are thousands of ways to defend themselves without being handcuffed.
It is precisely the “debt” of many victims of bullying, not to initiate the legal steps immediately! There are really good antimobby concepts in none, the right to physical dispute is anchored!
As soon as the victim gets out of the sacrificial role and actively deals with bullying, it means publicly seeking help and support, she will find the help.
When it comes to violence, it is not often the case that the pupil is at the end of the school ID!
No, the victim is not a perpetrator when it comes to fighting. This is a twist of the facts. And it’s funny: the perpetrator blames the victim of bullying. the victim is the victim in response to the perpetrator, you see clearly the blame for the victim and the proportion of the perpetrator is no longer a trace to read with you. Feel despised.
That’s how the victim is supposed to be a perpetrator, and he’s going to fuck people.
“There is the possibility of educators, teachers, trainers, works council and justice. Fighting. “Just get involved with the topic and how effective it is.
“Mobbing doesn’t stop by hitting the victim back. The perpetrators often turn to the next victim.” Of course, it does not solve the social problem. But it helps the victim in case of doubt. It is NOT the victim’s task to solve the overall problem. Your statement is as useful as “Notwehr against a rapist does not solve the problem. He’s just looking for a new victim next week.”
“This is also the role of the victim in shaping the change. How to adjust the value system that does not occur anymore ” Why should the victim have the duty to do so? Just no…
You’d just be breakfast if someone chooses you…
“Why should it strike back and go to the same low level with the debes?” Because I can do much better with life and sleep having beaten a debe than having beaten myself.
“It should defend itself with words, as far as possible non-violent communication.” You didn’t understand non-violent communication. The reason for this is the participation of both sides. Complete unauthorized communication with non-cooperative, malicious counterparts.
Sorry, but that’s bullshit! Children and adolescents are not yet mentally solidified so that such attacks will bounce on them (even some adults cannot do that). They literally lack the “thick coat”. And if you are being pampered as a child by a group or the whole class, humility is the completely wrong way.
Why should it strike back and go to the same low level with the debes?
Do you want to keep it going? Because there’s always a rupee!
It should defend itself with words, as far as possible non-violent communication.
I understand your mind and I’ll give you the right thing.
But why should a child be beaten constantly?
We’ll tell him at home.
If we’re in school or something, we’ll say that violence doesn’t go.
My wife looks like it. That’s good because most women don’t understand.
I honestly don’t quite understand your answer. Could you explain this in more detail, please?
Officially we represent the line that violence is a no-go.
When we talk to our son at home, let’s tell him that in certain situations he can strike quietly and we’ll settle this with the school.
Now I understand. Thank you.