Get sterilized at 20?

Question

Is there any gynecologist in the NRW region who would dare to perform such an operation?

Normal contraception with hormones or a copper IUD is not possible for me for health reasons and contraception with a condom is very unreliable in the long term.

I won't have any children, firstly because I have zero maternal feelings and children don't fit into my life plan, and secondly because, due to illness, I wouldn't be able to provide for them anyway. I probably won't be able to have children anyway, so I don't want to risk anything.

I'm aware that getting a sterilization is incredibly difficult. However, I do find it a bit double-standard and ethically questionable to deny women this right, despite good reasons for doing so. On the other hand, abortions will soon be available everywhere (to put it cynically, probably even at the butcher around the corner), and they're neither physically nor psychologically unacceptable. Not to mention the ethical misuse of these methods solely as a means of contraception.

Above all, it boils down to the fact that this takes away any possibility for me to explore my sexuality at all (I'm still a virgin), let alone live it out.

Does anyone have experience with this and can help me?

leo324 · Answer

You're 20. You've literally got your great life before you. What's in five years? Or even in 2-3? And you changed your mind? It's very difficult to do this early. You can feel so negatively against this now, but is that still the case? Don't rush.

lucynchen · Answer

You can also live your sexuality with condom and even have fun.

Probably I can't get kids anyway

I'd explain that first, if that were the case, the issue of contraception would have taken place, you should also be able to clarify the issue of sexual diseases if you want to dispense with condoms…

No doctor simply performs such an intervention, please also ask for the consequences for you, as simple as you seem to imagine that is really not.

kugel · Answer

You're 21, a virgin and asexual. So why sterilization? What chronic disease do you have that could not ensure the care of a child?

swiss1 · Answer

You can already have sex either with condom or a man who has vasectomy through.

You may find self-help groups on the net of other young women with desired or performed sterilization. There are such doctors in D who do this.

alterzapp · Answer

Great idea. You're still 10 years away from getting grown up and then finally choosing such an intervention is pretty stupid. You have no idea of ​​life and your feelings that could only be developed much later in this direction. The doctor who operates in prison. Because of your ignorance, you are simply deceived.

mahalia260 · Answer

Where does it say I don't want condoms? I'm just saying they're too insecure for a long time.

Yes hormonal contraception is not possible due to chronic diseases with coagulation disorders. Endometriosis cover! also exists, it was never the speech of a diagnosis that is still being clarified at the moment, because of massive men's problems. Where is the contradiction? Anyone who can think a little further than the glass pane has the fear of a pregnancy that I cannot afford financially, healthily and mentally.

If you don't have any empathy to pull you with your impeccable arrogance and your judgmental urge before a sick person, then you're really sorry. It would also be free sir if you have nothing productive to tell you to withdraw from my thread. Thank you.

smartaq · Answer

There are the gynecologists who do not protect you https://www.selfde-steril.de/map/ on the magnifying glass then sort by age and NRW has also a few annoyed that make it.

mahalia260 · Answer

So stupidity because of massive health problems not wanting a child? Which can also be inherited? Again "stupid" is more likely to want to judge your arrogance about something you have in no way any information about.

mahalia260 · Answer

And again by the way: I have been thinking about this problem for a few years now, and this is not an idea that came to me yesterday when washing my hair. It's hard enough for me to go under such an operation. If I had a more pleasant solution, I would use it.

kugel · Answer

You contradict each other with every post and word.

It's arrogance and lack of empathy. Ah yes.

The one woman with 20 who doesn't have a desire for children because of a lack of base is not unusual.

I just googled what possibilities there are for you. Well. I'm saving it.

What your illness (I don't know what you mean) has to do with my criticism is creepy to me. Because…

And. At your age, I would have bet both arms to never have children without lashes. I also have a story about this. I'll save them.

kugel · Answer

It would be nice to see what massive health problems are in the room. You don't know about it (not without reason)

mahalia260 · Answer

Then explain the contradictions when it's so glassy for you?

Again, you don't know what suffering I brought behind me last year.

My gynecologist himself admits that it looks great for really safe methods.

Femidom, diaphragm, etc. are the same or even worse security of condom. Alternative methods with temperature measurement are also more difficult with an irregular cycle. And quite honestly: in this respect, I would rather let myself say something about my professors and lecturers or the health office than about the dear sphere.

Diseases are as I said several that I will guarantee you, but with this already misfortune trust base, not all will explain exactly to you + their mutual connection.

But since you are old and wise, both my doctor and all my university staff speak bullshit.

mahalia260 · Answer

So that as people like you can't abuse it against me, what you're doing as hard as you can see below 😉 What you do are called "medical gaslighting". If you don't break a little, the discussion with you has taken place. Because the aggressor is more like you right now.

alterzapp · Answer

Oh, so you're sick. Next time, maybe ask the question differently so that you can answer it honestly even without your attacks. If you don't want to, for example, because you're uncomfortable, don't ask. Otherwise, you only get false answers and you just get up with it like yours. Thank you.

kugel · Answer

You asked and answered a question and got opinions.

You throw a variety of so-called reasons into the room.

If they don't fit a statement, you'll be insulting.

And last but not least, do you go to the sacrificial role of aka secondary disease gain because health reasons justify the desire?

If this is the case, your many professors, lecturers, whatever your teacher's degree, would certainly be on the side with advice and deed.

Even me, with 38(!) and already two children plus a massive history of illness, stones were put in the way

mahalia260 · Answer

So now I'm going to be insulting and insulting.

I'm sorry, you seem to be able to split up very well, that you can get backwind, that's what you have to expect.

The only thing you did in my subject was to question and doubt my health condition. From alternative suggestions for prevention or at least the knowledge that there is a problem with you misdisplay.

And just because you seem to have a similar story with children, you should actually know that in Germany problems are made where there is almost no discussion in other states.

Furthermore: only because your children (hopefully) may be the greatest for you, they are not for me. Many mothers like to forget that. I've been thinking about it for some time, and I've just not been looking for arguments about feeling. For me, nothing speaks purely rationally for a child

kugel · Answer

And. At your age, I would have bet both arms to never have children without lashes.
Even me were put on this subject with 38(!) (and already two children) plus a massive history of illness stones.

Reading isn't yours?

That I finally got kids has to do with the subject nicha. In the end, exactly DAS occurred, which I was most afraid of.

Being a mother, however, understanding that the other women don't want to have children does not exclude itself.

Your argument on this subject is not conclusive. A bouncing of sticks on stones. Your discussion behavior immature and not targeted for what you ultimately want: sterilization.

Good luck

elli113 · Answer

Reference has already been made to the page of Self-Determination-steril.

At the beginning of 20 it will probably be very difficult to find a doctor who performs the procedure despite the medical conditions.

Because even if you are sure that you really never want to have children, there are studies that prove that the chance that the woman regrets the intervention is the higher the younger she was in the procedure.

Regret following female sterilization at a young age: a systematic review ;

Risk of Sterilization Regret and Age: An Analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth, 2015-2019

In particular, the second study demonstrates that possible influencing factors such as education, reason for sterilization, or whether the woman had already children had no statistically significant effect on the causing of sterilization – the age remained alone as a statistically significant variable.

If the copper spiral/chain falls away from you because of suspicion of endometriosis and because of the coagulation disorder the normal combination pill would be a safe option for you only with gestagen.

It would also have the advantage for you that the symptoms of endometriosis are alleviated.

And condoms are not even so insecure when you apply them correctly. Yes, the Pearl index is relatively bad, but this is mainly due to the fact that condoms are stored so often incorrectly (eg in the purse), the durability date is not taken into account that the condom is punctured during coating with the fingernails or the like.

on the other side soon but at every point abortions are possible

That's wrong, by the way. In many areas in the federal territory there are few doctors who carry out abortions and there are becoming fewer and fewer because the old ones retire and do not follow young ones.

And even in the event of an abortion, women can not simply say "will I now" but they must wait for a consultation with the pregnancy conflict counseling and then again three days to wait for the period of time to intervene – which is then still not legal but illegal, but at least criminal.

holzzwergi · Answer

Look here https://www.selfde-steril.de/ https://www.stern.de/health/sterilisation-mit-28---viele-aerzte-lehne-den-engage-sofort-ab--9209354.html

mahalia260 · Answer

Reading is very good mine.

On the one hand, you argue with your children, according to the motto: I didn't want any children at your age, but I still got those which, by the way, is your only argument throughout the course of the discussion.

On the other hand, your children have nothing to do with the subject.

Again: where do I insult or is my argument not conclusive. And please deny this without my situation in terms of illness and living conditions. If that's so conclusive for you, you'd have to shake the quotes out of your sleeve. Immature arguments rather than with any statistics or other psychological opinions, but only on the "you are too young to know" rail.

elli113 · Answer

Why? Both are a conscious decision on their own reproduction.

One could even say that the decision FOR a child is more serious, as there must also be responsibility for another person, namely the child.

mahalia260 · Answer

To reinstate again: often the mental problems with "regretted motherhood", ie women who actually regret motherhood, are much worse and equal to psychological torture either because they have diffraction with the pressure of others or have not thought too little. In addition, the subject will even remain dead. Not to mention the consequences of the child

elli113 · Answer

Where RM is a completely different subject that has nothing to do with sterilization.

This leads too far, I would just like to point out that even women who have received desired children and who have taken many thoughts before, sometimes regret their motherhood. You just don't know how it will be.

And, second note: it may sound paradoxical, but almost all women who must live with repentance of their motherhood still love their children and take care of them very well.

mahalia260 · Answer

Sorry, this is also the wrong comment under which I posted that 🙄 forgets the above just described. The Court of First Instance

deamonia · Answer

Thank you Today more and more doctors who also trust young women to make decisions independently! https://www.selfde-steril.de/

mewchen · Answer

I didn't want to want children until I was 30. At 32, I was planning to be a mother.

about self-determined sterile has already been written enough.

But condoms are very safe if you don't make mistakes. Just like other forms of contraception. However, I find your statements about abortion very strange. Hardly anyone will see this as a form of contraception

inheaven749 · Answer

So honestly, I would keep your feet quiet if you don't have any reasonable arguments.

The TE has put forward comprehensible arguments against pregnancy and children. You, however, less, and: the "life experience" you praised is not a scientifically sound argument. For the first time, a little fact (this time from a "pure" biology student in the Medical Health area, since you doubt my colleague's expertise, as she only studies teaching staff. In addition, the bachelor's degree for Gym is almost the same as in study, only the master differs considerably) :

To the condoms: https://www.derstandard.de/story/1381368779173/are-condome-real-safe

For sterilization per se: https://www.autode-steril.de/2022/01/19/darum-k%C3%B6ntest-du-deine-sterilisation-bereuen/

The rest is doing their own research.

It can be seen that of the 20% of those who regret sterilization are just 6.8% childless. This is absolutely less than 1%. Most friends who regret this decision have been able to sterilize too early after the first or second child and do not completely reject the idea of maternity. The so-called early decision-makers, eg the TE, are only the smallest group.

If the fertility of the woman were not such a socially controversial issue, sterilization would be based purely on facts, not such a big problem. In addition, sterilization can now be reversed in 30%-80% of cases, depending on the skill of the surgeon. All knitting is still possible for artificial fertilization. The benefits of such a treatment are far greater than the disadvantages of problems such as the TE.

It is also known that fertility is over everything. Women with adenomyosis, which can hardly get pregnant anyway, are taken a chance of pain relief by removing the uterus, because you could… It is often taken by Not Op because the woman is bleeding. The fact that you let it come to this point is already nasty enough.

And for the point that sterilization is associated with so many risks: no it is not. This involves the same risks as a usual procedure and does not interfere with the hormonal balance. The pill is a completely different caliber, no matter which one takes.

Coagulation disorders are a good reason for hormones. Says those who have developed this thing through Corona and have almost gone hopps. I also lack a complete strain of contraceptives because also hormone spiral and co belong to it. Here, too, I can understand the TE very well, because my body would probably not be able to withstand arrhythmias with thrombosis. Haschi gives the rest of the point to get pregnant. Nevertheless, my child's wish is a completely different story and I don't bring it here as you do.

At the TE, it does not sink that any living circumstances as you lead them would change something against the unwilling children. Just because you didn't have a shock for children at THIS age, this doesn't mean that due TE must have the same biography. Especially since I find many contradictions in yours:

So your children are 20 and 21. So, at pregnancy, suddenly, as if of the magic hand of the mother instinct, you immediately got a 2nd? I know these stories and the least are true and more likely to be a story in the Paulergarten. Most of them have to cope with the shock of the first pregnancy when they do not abort. And in the 130 m^3 hut your husband and you lived with 25 of course alone, the children were already there:/ Of course, this is also the first one to think of as a freshly baked mother who has become unintentionally pregnant, probably without a livelihood. I'm sorry, but please save this story. Everything indicates that these children were planned and not a wink of fate.

Even if it's violent: your husband's cancer disease has nothing to do with sterilization, contrary to the coagulation disorders and endo of TE, which restricts contraception. Unless it would be in the field of the sexual organs, the subject then being dealt with by itself. This is more secondary disease gain from you if you want to argue in this way.

In summary, you are not argumentative and hopping from sticks on stones because the facts are simply missing. That is exactly what a woman of 40-50 years is not exactly wise and mature and also not particularly intelligent. I'm pretty sure you know that.

All the best and that you stay a little more respectful on the next issue that is against you.

kugel · Answer

Egg. So much consoled false knowledge on a bunch of... It just wrestles a tired smile ;-)

inheaven749 · Answer

Of course you know everything :) You still have no arguments, and besides a profoundly childish discussion. Probably never dealt with the subject scientifically, but be it. "I'm saving that..." "That's what I'm saving..." What is supposed to be false knowledge, you can't call me. Bark drunk dogs...

mahalia260 · Answer

You can keep it. You realize she's on riot. In fact, it cannot defend itself with counter-studies or at least articles. You could link 100 studies to the topic and she would still be posing on her opinion.

I mean, if the community expert in sexuality has now turned on and admits to consider the subject a little more differentiated and then still gives such defensive comments, because you realize that you lack the counter arguments, then you cannot help the person. It seems to be quite large in the depressing of externalities. Look at their comments on 15 years old. It's a very sympathetic person.

Anyway, I would leave the subject here. I have now reached out to contacts that took a little more material to the matter and will probably have me sterilized in my fellow twenties. I wanted to take the time anyway.