Feedback on plot twists?
Hello friends👋🏼
So I'm writing a fantasy novel and it's going like this at the moment:
- The protagonist has a brother of whom she has lost all memories.
- Her brother erased her memories!
- Her brother was on a mission to spy on the enemy.
- The antagonist found him and has been holding him captive for almost seven years, and he's been catching him. (Or at least that's what I wanted.)
BUT here's the thing! I'm thinking about making the main character's brother "evil"! He's supposed to be working with the enemy and wasn't tortured, but instead helped the enemy attack the "good guys" and all!
The protagonist is also slowly getting all her memories back and her brother was always there for her when they were little and so on.
That would be so devastating to everyone who reads the book! I would make it so hurtful and tragic!
*evil laugh*
OR the brother is FORCED to work with the enemy!
so the enemy may have…
OH MY GOD!!
I KNOW!
Their parents are actually dead, BUT the mother always claimed that, and no body was ever found! So what if the enemy didn't kill her but took her hostage and is now blackmailing the protagonist's brother into working for him?
I actually just wanted feedback on the idea because all of my friends and family want to read the book and I can't really ask them🤷🏻♀️
PS Yes, sorry, I'm a little… emotional and stuff when it comes to my book😭😂
(3 votes)
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How about it if it turns out first that the brother works with the evil ones and then turns out later that he only did this because he was forced to do it. Then you’d have a double pattwist.
Once the reader is shaken, because the brother is evil, and once because that is not true.
But the idea is really good.
Have fun writing.
Sometimes such a stupid question, but: how exactly should this destroy the reader if he knows nothing about the brother? How exactly is this supposed to be emotional when you first learn about the existence of this brother after he is already evil?
And if you want to do this one after the other: Do you have the time to expand all three stages (you know nix, you think he was good, she learns that he is evil) enough, or isn’t that much for a single book?
And: would that really keep your story going, or would you just write it because you can feel bad?
So, personally, I’d just do one of both. Either, the protagonist almost forgot the existence of the brother and knows just enough to save him, OR she knows that she had a very nice brother, but then he suddenly stands out as a representative of the enemy. But not both.
Yes it is probably too much to bring into a book, but so far it is her brother’s contact with her, so stop by magic, and at that time her magic has begun to develop and if you can develop his magic and use it, so to speak, all the magic and curses that lie on a hakt so erased what that means she can remember him and then she would have a blackout in which she sees deep
I don’t think that’s what’s going on and really works. After all, you need a good time at the beginning to explain that she doesn’t know anything yet. And then she has to believe that’s true. And then it can have the emotional bond again. It’ll take time. And I think it’s too demanding for you as you describe here.
Hi!
That sounds very good. But you really have to make it look like the brother IMMER was nice to her. Because otherwise this idea can quickly become predictable to me. He also needs motives. Why is he doing this and he knows what he’s doing wrong? Of course you have to ask for when he does this: for himself, for his sister, for a lost love;)
More exact FeedBack I don’t think it’s possible because you don’t know how to define this evil. Finally, there is a difference between a demon-worshiping cult, or people took the dog.
I hope I could help n’bisl, bye!
It’s a bit foreseeable, but for a steoy you’re writing completely ok.