Almost your entire life isolated because of bullying?

Hello

Lately, I've noticed that I'm not feeling well because I'm alone. I hardly have any friends, never have a girlfriend, and I only work and play games. I'm 32 years old. Because of the bullying I experienced at school and at my old job, I've shut myself off from the world and only play games at home so I can forget or distract myself from the bad past. I don't dare go out in public anymore because of all the bad experiences. I can't get any therapy either.

I often notice that I am sad (and sometimes cry, although that is not good as a man) and feel very lonely.

What can I do, or is this crazy? I dream of living a beautiful life, moving in with my wife, getting married, hanging out with friends, or going out for drinks… 😔