Die Frage nach den Enkelkindern?
Hallo
In letzter Zeit haben meine Eltern und Schwiegereltern mal wieder gefragt, wo denn die Enkelkinder bleiben.
Ich bin 27,m und meine Frau ist 26,w. Sie sagt, sie wünscht sich für die Zukunft schon Kinder, aber weiß nicht, ob sie schon jetzt bereit dafür ist. Bei mir sieht es genauso aus.
Wir verdienen beide gutes Geld und könnten finanziell auf jeden Fall gut für ein Kind (oder mehrere) sorgen. Wir sind auch vernünftige Menschen und könnten unsere Kinder gut erziehen.
Es ist nur so, dass wir uns beide fragen, ob es nicht etwas zu früh ist. Gut wir sind vielleicht in einem passenden Alter, aber irgendwas sagt uns, dass es noch nicht an der Zeit ist.
Ein Kind verändert alles.
Bilden wir uns das ein ? Wie erfahren wir, ob es an der Zeit ist ?
(3 votes)
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You should get a child if you really want to do this completely and not because the parents/in-laws want it.
You still have time. Enjoy life to two yet a little. It’ll never be like that again.
Of course, I wouldn’t be judged by the pressure of the parents. You’ll never feel ready for a child. And reasons why it is not the right time now will always be found. If you want kids, you just have to take a step. The question with the finances would be resolved. The next question is whether you are willing to give up freedoms, flexibility and wild holidays. Also remember: the younger you are as parents, the more energy you have and the sooner you can be independent again. All under the condition that you (and not your parents) really want children.
“but something tells us it’s not time yet.”
And someday something will tell you that it’s time now.
And you can tell your parents that they don’t care about it, and they already know it in time when they’re young.
You decide if and when you want children. No one else. That’s exactly what you’re talking about.
They’re supposed to stop going on your nerves with the desire for grandchildren. Make that clear. You decide when you want to have a child, and not the want-gern grandparents.
When they start again, there is only one sentence: “There is the door”
When the question comes, answer “Yes, so last night we had really good sex! However, I pulled him out and came to her breasts because we have no desire to limit this grandiose sex life for young people. I hope you understand!”
Quite simply answering questions with completely overwhelmed answers – maybe they will notice it!
Apart from that, my husband and I were also quite long like “Mmh, children, joa, maybe, but only later, not yet!” Until we then find ourselves more intensively dealing with the subject, talking to each other intensively, telling us and then finding that this “Maybe later!” was actually just a “naja, do you do that, is it, is it?” No deeper, real desire for children, no real interest in parents, just social expectation.
This “you do that!” we then threw overboard – and asked us intensively what WIR want for OUR life. And then it became clear that there is a lot – but nowhere is the desire for children. And that’s completely okay and legitimate!
Parenthood is just one of many possible options you have in life. But it’s one you can’t choose at all. It’s one of the few you can’t correct later. And it is one that not only affects oneself, but also and precisely those little beings that are put into the world and which, in my opinion, have a right to be 100% wanted and desired.
Therefore, besides the defense of these overarching questions of the family, my second advice would be to you, that you as a couple are concerned with the subject intensively and hear exactly in you whether there is really a child’s desire. If so, good for you! If no, also good for you! But don’t make you crazy with the “right time” or you should somehow put you under pressure or influence from the outside :).
How about you talk to servants parents and your wife with their parents and tell them you’ll be sure to tell them when they’re on the go.
My daughter and her husband were always asked by his father when a grandchild finally comes. He told him very clearly that they will get their child if they think it is correct. Then there was no question.
You will definitely notice when the right time has come. We had the same situation. Both have earned well, young and have first traveled the world and made a party when the meaning of it stood for us. At 36, the uterus glowed by itself. And even if you shouldn’t be like that, and you shouldn’t feel that urge, it’s okay. It is your life and no one should push you. It’s not that someone else is carrying out the child for you, educating it, ensuring that it comes to school on time or keeps your partnership/sex/work alive.
It is never the right time for a child, you always find a hair in the soup. If you think it suits, otherwise leave it.
You must be safe with the baby, once witnessed and no way back. So you’re fucking thinking.
Yes, it is. On the other hand, I also believe that if you do. First a child has, automatically feels love for the child…
Yes, of course you love your own child and you are both young, so you have to decide yourself. No one can take this decision.