Dealing with jealousy in general and in the first open relationship?
I'm still a bit younger and am definitely in my first open relationship.
The construct generally works very well, and I chose it consciously (it's still relatively new), not out of necessity or anything like that. Nevertheless, I occasionally experience intense jealousy and anxiety that overwhelm and paralyze me. It might be a trigger for an issue from my childhood (as many might say, and that's certainly true). I want to deal with it, not give up on anything straight away, but I'm wondering what your experiences have been? Do you talk about it? How much can/should one burden the other person with it? I would prefer to constantly ask questions and have information, and that way gain security.
What can I do myself? Where can a partner help?
(2 votes)
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It is strange at the beginning and it is also quite normal that from time to time the thoughts of jealousy arise. Openly talk about it, but not as a accusation, but simply so that your partner also knows what you feel.
It is important that one is transparent and honest with one another. Talk about the rules of the game, that’s very important. If you realize that these are being observed, the doubts disappear with time.
In an open relationship, you give your partner absolute trust. Jealousy is out of place. You have to find a way to get clear.
That’s right. But sometimes I want it to be hard… do you have a tip?
Unfortunately no. I’m jealous myself. Haha
This sentence should make you aware that this kind of relationship is not the right one for you.
You don’t grow on it. What’s that supposed to be if you’re afraid and you’re paralyzed?
My gratitude was, if you’re afraid of flying and want to work on it, you have to face it… To look at the topic or get tips on how to face it, you can only grow. But these are just my thoughts….what do you think?
I see it as I already wrote. You’re not going to get rid of your jealousy. In my opinion, jealousy has something to do with lack of self-confidence. That’s what I’d work on.
There will be hardly any people having experiences with open relations here, because most people do not have the courage to try it. I’d say if you’re still very young, an open relationship is a special challenge because you don’t know yourself so well. Young women are also very difficult to communicate their boundaries clearly. Young men are hard to talk about their feelings. All this is very important, especially in open relations.
jealousy is normal and can also be considered positive. Fear and envy are the main thrust of jealousy. Fear of losing the partner and envy that anyone else is better than yourself or that you can be replaced. These things have to be addressed openly. A closed relationship now offers the advantage of these feelings and uncertainties, especially for young people, to calm down. Old traumas from childhood must first heal. But jealousy can also strengthen the pleasure of others.
A polygame relationship is not the same as a completely open relationship. Open relations are unfortunately very often selfish. It makes her hurt. Polyamourous relationships, I see a future. Open relationships can also be great if nobody gets really selfish. The goal of an open relationship should not be to sleep with as many people as possible or to lead several affaires in parallel, but to respectful cooperation with permitted occasional side jumps. But many lead open relationships as if they were single and without responsibility. That hurts and creates such bad feelings.
It is basically the same as with F+. Is it really a friendship? Or just a relationship without responsibility for the feelings of the other? Think together and talk about who feels comfortable. An open relationship is only as long as everyone feels comfortable with it.
There is actually a very clear recommendation from psychology for it: you are in a relationship that triggers strong negative feelings with you – it is the wrong model for you.
I don’t think if it were, I wouldn’t have done a lot of things in my life.. I would like to grow
What, for example, parachute jumping?
Sure, when it comes to sports and travel, it needs overcoming. Continuing training and positions are about learning, self-effectiveness and confidence in their own responsibility. With the credit, it’s such a latent guilt that you’re charging yourself, you have to deal with it first.
and now that is: the way we build relationships and what we need is an early childhood basic experience. There are just certain things that you shouldn’t screw around in life, just because you’ve gotten into the political ideology of a relationship concept.
At the end of the day, I’m going to guess, but people are free beings: if ideology is important to you and you want to pay the emotional price, do it. I know some couples who decided to take on permanent ballast and conflicts and lasting couple therapy because they are so behind the idea. For most people, however, it is important to cultivate stable basic confidence in a relationship.
Exciting sports, yes. Continuing trainings and positions where I thought I can’t. Travel, buy apartment where I was afraid… because of the loan… so much.