Confirmation while eating?
Hey,
This may sound like an unusual question, but perhaps someone knows the answer.
Even as a child, I liked it when people told me I'd eaten well, or when relatives told me I'd gained a bit of weight. Back then, I was pretty thin, but as a teenager, my weight steadily increased. Even though I'm overweight, I still like it, even at 21, when someone reassures me while I'm eating that I've eaten well or eaten a lot. Why is that? Should I see a psychologist? Do I have a problem?
Since then I've seen eating as a competition and I've been trying to eat the most of everyone, for example at barbecues with the family. However, for about a month now I've been paying attention to it and people are already asking me what's wrong and I feel a very strong urge to eat the most again. What's wrong with me?
(5 votes)
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Maybe you should talk to your doctor about it and get a professional opinion on it.
It might have something to do with the psyche that for a special reason you have the urge to eat most to get a positive feedback. Don’t worry too much about it. Just ask your doc. LG
“there you were going on” was told to me as a child. But no one says that anymore.
You’ve probably gotten this behavior. You got a reward in the form of praise and nice words (you call the positive reinforcement). You liked the praise and you did it again and again.
Now you tried to change your behavior for a while. That’s great!
But if I understand correctly, your environment has begun to stab you with annoying questions. It looks like a punishment! That’s why it’s so hard to keep your new “better” behavior.
I would say you don’t have to go to psychotherapy (first if you don’t get it alone). Just try to figure out why you acted like that. I’ve outlined it, and you might be able to inform yourself about the topic (maybe start with the link).
Then talk to your family. They should save their comments! No more praise for excessive food! No stupid questions if you don’t stuff your belly! I suppose you’ll be easier to learn an appropriate eating behavior.
I hope I’ve really taken the situation and given you no wrong advice.
https://studyflix.de/biology/operant conditioning-2561
In the other answers, you’ve already got a lot of good stuff to think about. That is why I want to make it short and not repeat what has already been said.
You are valuable and unique. You can learn to be independent from praise and confirmation of others. Your actual value is not defined by the feedback from others! It doesn’t matter whether it’s food, clothing, hairstyle or anything else.
You don’t have to bend for others to be recognized and happy.
A therapy can help you get through with your low-noise environment. You will discover how good it feels to represent your own opinion and no longer to live the “fear” of others and not to be afraid of rejection.
Since your eating behavior can damage your development and health with a greater overweight, I recommend going to your family doctor and having you consulted on appropriate therapy.
Three months with you and I would be slim. With me, it’s like I’m on my way with someone and he’s blazing everything inside me, I don’t like eating anything anymore.
You have to go to the doctor and change your attitude. Always try to say “I don’t want to eat it.” Someday you believe it yourself.
Perhaps you were ignored as a child/no one took care of you and now you are looking for confirmation/love? (Only speculation)
I think that you have a (something) disturbed eating behavior and would go to your place to the family doctor, talk and then be forwarded to a therapist etc.
This could be since I’ve settled down more cares about me, so for example I’m told to stop eating, but since it confirms me more and I don’t want anymore, I feel disgusting and fat and want everything to end.
Then you better go to your family doctor and let yourself be advised.
Hello,
Can it be that you used to try to eat the most? Because you were thin and you wanted to increase, or didn’t want to hear from the others, “Now eat, no wonder you’re so thin”…?
And then after a certain time, you had a certain call?
The call you’ve always eaten the most. With statements like “wahnsinn… where are you eating everything…?”, and so on…?
Then you may still have this urge to maintain the “call”. You don’t want to lose him…? Because everyone knows you like that, and if you eat less, maybe everyone asks stupid questions.
You’re sitting at the dining table and you know you’re gonna eat a lot. And more than the others, because you have to do justice to your call?
It’s just a guess, but maybe that’s true to you.
Then this is a pure headache and you don’t have to be a psychologist. You can also find out your inner driver for this behavior. Maybe my answer will help you.
It could be that you want to do it all right.
lg!
Yes, that’s true, even the sayings have fallen. However, from one point of time, I’ve just gotten strong and then there were other sayings. For a few years, I’ve been told to stop eating, I’ve become too thick but that’s exactly what it shows me that I eat enough and eat even more to show how much I can eat. However, it’s just a bad “no wonder you’ve become so thick” I often hear it confirms me and I don’t want to anymore, I’m getting more and more and I feel so disgusting after eating.
If you take 5 minutes and close your eyes and think about why it confirms you…
Can you answer that? Be honest with yourself and try to find the reason. I’m sure you know him, but you’re blinding him. But let it go and say in your thoughts, why it still confirms you despite the “benefits” when the others say so.
This can be thoughts like:
“hmm… actually it hurts me sometimes when they say that, but if I continue eating then I overplay all this and give the others a clear answer that I know why I’m thick and it’s not a lack of self-discipline, but simply because I want it…”
This is just an example of an honest mindset. You can’t lie to yourself now.
And if you now know why it continues to drive you to eat more, then try to solve the problem.
In my example, this could look like this:
“ok… so I want to make it clear to them that I know that I owe myself and have everything under control, finally I voluntarily eat so much… But if I’m honest, I’m just eating so much because I’m just hungry and it tastes so much and I just don’t want to stop, even if I feel bad after that… Evtl really cares about my self-discipline”
Problem solution: How do I develop discipline when eating. (classic…)
As I said… just an example of how to lead an honest “conversation” with yourself. It’s not gonna have to be together with your case.
all good 🙂
Yeah, you need psychological help.
I have the exact opposite as a problem, I was very slender as a child, only bigger and therefore heavier than other children and was always said to eat less. Then came puberty, my chronic illness showed the first consequences, I increased and introduced food almost completely. But they told me to eat less because I’m so fat. We’re talking about a slice of bread a day, maybe a slice of lunch/dinner, I’ve been tormenting my whole youth to not get thicker. We’re talking about 500kcal a day. The result is still a disturbed eating behavior, I do hard to eat sensible portions and I feel extremely uneasy to eat before others, as I always feel observed and evaluated (what falls fats to eat at all, if they eat less, then it also decreases!), which is of course nonsense, especially as I continue and continue to eat through my disease as long as I do not starve. The psychoknacks are here, but help helps.