Blackout classwork?
I have high expectations of myself in a particular subject. However, I had to read every sentence in the test several times in order to concentrate. I still rushed and didn't finish. Shortly before the deadline, I realized I wouldn't be able to finish and I panicked completely. I couldn't think of anything else on the topic and I had no ideas. I really don't know how I would have handled it and I'm afraid I might have disappointed my teacher, as I'm usually one of the best. I handed the test in early because I would have written nothing but nonsense and was mentally exhausted. Do you have any tips? Was it the pressure that prevented me from concentrating, or was it perhaps the material?
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Oh dear…that sounds like a very stressful test. 🙁
First of all, I'm sure you wrote a good paper despite everything. If you're actually one of the best in the class, chances are you're doing well. Just to reassure you. 🙂
To me, this whole thing sounds like a panic attack. You seem to not only have high expectations of yourself, but also, above all, extreme fear of failure and a great deal of anxiety about what will happen if you don't deliver. You also seriously question yourself as a person and your integrity by worrying about disappointing others. All of this is a lot of pressure on you. So it's not surprising that in situations where all of this is supposedly being put to the test, your mind eventually becomes so overloaded that it shuts down.
It seems as if your academic performance is somehow tied to things like social acceptance and personal worth. Since you're doing well in school, I don't think the homework itself is a problem for you. You do them with ease. So it's other things that are putting pressure on you. Perhaps it will help if you get to the bottom of this. How, for example, do your parents deal with academic performance? Is it important in your family to get top grades? Or are you worried that your future will be at risk if your grades aren't always as good as they seem? Or are you overwhelmed by the expectations of your teachers, who think you're a good student and therefore always expect good results from you?
Think about it for a moment. Write down a few things or make a mind map or something. Discuss the matter with your parents, if you feel like you can talk to them about something like this. Or contact a teacher you trust. If you've been feeling this way in tests for a while, coaching or therapy might be helpful. Test anxiety and panic attacks are widespread. There are definitely things you can do.
Maybe you just need a vacation, and thank goodness, it's just around the corner. Take care of yourself. Clear your head by doing something enjoyable. With all the pressure to perform and exam stress, you sometimes forget to be kind to yourself. But it's important that, despite everything school demands of you, you use your free time as such and do things that you enjoy and relax. You can't even think about school sometimes. You won't miss anything. Even if you went out partying the night before, you'll wake up the next morning and still be able to do math. Thank goodness the brain is a very capable organ—and yours is certainly especially so. 😉
Have faith in yourself and your abilities. You can do it all! Believe in yourself!
Good luck & happy holidays 🎄🙂