Relationship with problems?
Good evening
I've been in a relationship for 4 months…
However, something happened two months ago…my girlfriend did a dance with another boy…which was supposed to mean: no one loves you the way I love you… My heart knows it was fun…but my head started working…since then, I've been jealous…turning away from her…I'm unconsciously trying to set her up with other people…and I see that everyone is better than me for her…this has been going on for two months now…and I can't take it anymore…I'm jealous…pushing her to other boys…but I'm still so scared of losing her…because I love her…
But since yesterday, I've had the feeling that my problems, feelings, and fears are destroying the relationship…and so I want to try to close myself off again like I did before the relationship…keep everything to myself and just switch off my mind…suppress the feelings, fears, etc….but I don't know how she feels about it…I told her that…but she said it's my path, I have to follow it and make a decision…but I think she thinks I'm going down the wrong path…I don't know what to do anymore, though…I'm desperate and don't even know what's right and what's wrong…What would be best? I've already tried talking to her about it…
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Hello Jv2007👋
Have you been in a relationship for 4 months and wasted two months to get rid of them because you have complexes for a dance?
You’re not ready for a relationship, someone who claims he would love someone, wouldn’t be as soon as a switch in the brain gets knocked around to couple his girlfriend or distance himself.
Just wait a little, grow up, learn that you don’t solve problems by including feelings or thoughts in your head, still with jealousy.
Only when you have internalized how to really deal with this and how to make a person from whom you say you would love him really love you are ready for something like a relationship.
Okay, you didn’t understand the pain behind it…but it’s okay…then for nix 🙂
Your actions do not reflect what you express. “I’m still afraid to lose her… because I love her,” but you do it, you’re jealous at the same time, you turn away from her, so no one who is really interested in leading a reasonable relationship and yet you put the behavior on the day half the time of your relationship. You trade like someone who lets himself in on someone and then ends by text message saying, “I don’t want to hurt you, you have something better than me deserves” you do.
So before you haven’t really internalized whatever your heart knows, bring your head to the latest level or you think it’s good how you behave, what do you think happens if the behavior still occurs in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years.
You can’t want them on the one hand, but on the other hand, push them away from you as soon as she does something that kills a switch in your brain. Whether it helps you or not.
What do you think I haven’t had? That my friend’s doing a dance with someone and I’m gonna torpedo the relationship? Yeah, you’re right, I haven’t seen anything like that, because I don’t see any reason for it, so open a barrel, you seem like it.
You’re subconsciously hurt about a dance and its meaning, although you basically know it was a fun thing. How subconscious is your pain when you try to walk away in consciousness, protect yourself, but do not want to lose them?
You can’t even accept the advice of the other answer and talk about your feelings with her, so what do you expect when you’re looking for advice? Do you think that’s going to happen with a fingertip?
Something you have to do, talk, finish, process, even she knows, otherwise she would hardly say, I quote: “It is my way I have to go and decide”
If you want to retreat, suppress your feelings, do that, it will affect the relationship. Do you want to talk about what you feel, it will affect the relationship, on you, they, actions attract reactions.
You don’t seem to have had anything like that… if you know how you can do it….
There’s only one healthy way out of it: you have to talk to her about your feelings openly and uneasy!
So don’t suppress…but make senses?
Do you think I’m not ready for a relationship?
I mean I know it was just a dance… but if you know the meaning and get hurt unconsciously….
Yes, think you’re ready – just inexperienced and therefore something “green”!
At the beginning jealousy is widespread in relationships – but it is toxic to suppress that You should talk to me about what moves you and you should best meet an agreement after a detailed conversation, which you are each hoping to give by others a) b).