Relationship with a man with ADHD and possibly borderline personality disorder?

Hello everyone ,

I have been living with my partner for 17 years and we have been through ups and downs – we have made it together, just for our 7 year old daughter and we are better off than ever before!!!!!

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of the year. He takes cannabis and since then our lives have taken a 380 degree turn for the better – we both blossom like flowers, each on our own and yet together. Sometimes things are so abnormally harmonious for us but then because of my ADHD husband there are days with his impulses where I just can't take it anymore – generally I can deal with it well and we talk about it and he's working on himself but there are still days when I don't know what to do or have no strength. My question to you is simply: does anyone know of relationships and situations like my own? If he then gets hasty or his impulses are lost he becomes really abusive and verbally hurts me. To give you an idea of ​​what it's like, here's an example: today I was at my mum's and I wrote to him that I would be home in about an hour. It wasn't exactly an hour, but 20 minutes later – I know he hates it when I give him a time and then I don't stick to it, but my daughter wanted to eat some yoghurt and she did and then I left 10 minutes later… well, that was a mistake because then I got yelled at for not being on time, I didn't even have to let him know, I should have just turned up and it would have been ok. Now I can be prepared, if I go to work this week he will make sure that I come to work an hour later or have to leave earlier. The mood always calms down quickly but if something happens again during the week that gets on his nerves then he stresses me out and carries out his crazy threats… that was a rough example, I hope you can follow suit!!!! But then come the wonderful days with him again. He cooks food for me so that I can eat when I get home from work. He does the laundry and everything around the house – he makes it right for me whenever he can. I know that he always has these impulses, but I have to write this off my chest in the hope that maybe other women have similar relationships and can talk to each other or know about it? Maybe there is someone out there who has tips and tricks, maybe even from someone who also has ADHD??? I've just tried it out and am so excited for your answers.

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Best regards