Besuchsverbot zu Eltern als Erpressung?
Ich lebe in einer Wohngruppe und war am Wochenende oft zuhause. Ich habe aktuell echt Heimweh und jetzt hat mein Bezugserzieher mit der Leitung besprochen das ich erstmal nicht nach Hause darf.
Meine Mutter würde mich zu viel beeinflussen (es geht um saublöde adhs Medikamente).
Ich habe so krass das Gefühl das die mich erpressen wollen. Aber das bringt halt nichts. Meine Eltern müssen das mit den Medikamenten entscheiden und nicht ich. Außerdem leiden meine Eltern da nicht so drunter.
Ich kann meine Mutter auch nicht umstimmen.
Was kann ich machen außer so sau doofe Sachen wie weglaufen etc?
(3 votes)
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Now I can imagine you can’t see what the educators see right now.
There’s a good reason why you’re where you are. As good as ever, unfortunately, it is always so at the beginning that the contact to the home brings many problems. The children accommodated cannot rely on what is required.
And yes, the parents are disturbing. Without a reason, you weren’t taken away. Parents are a large part of your problems, if not the biggest part.
Playing / interactions between child and parents must be interrupted that you have a chance to develop positively.
That’s not right. I’ve been living there for a few months now and I’ve always been okay. I’ve been there for a long time and now I can’t stop
..and still disturbs the influence of your mother….
There’s a good reason why you were accommodated there!
The educators cannot force my parents to make a different decision
I can understand that it’s like blackmail. It’s not.
You’re not in the group without reason. And it’s bad if there’s a big disagreement between the parents’ house and the group. One means the other raises the other. it’s about you.
But if you hear the mingling here, there’s another one that’s really not good for you (yes I know you now you’re going to fight it again because you like it at home, but not all that you like is good for one too.
It must be found a clear line.for YOU.
I can’t do it, but it should be ALL participants (home, parents, you and the doctor to talk to you in peace)
I can’t do anything about that which is not agreed. I’m going to bathe. It can’t be right.
yes, you must finally bathe it, you are the suffering. And that really shouldn’t be. And you can’t do it. It’s really not good for you, if one says the other. But even grown-ups, unfortunately, do not always get to act for the benefit of the child.
Yeah, that’s stupid. I agree. As long as your parents have health care, they also have to decide whether and what medis you take. Especially when it comes to permanent medication.
In all of the extreme emergency, a judge would have to speak the discerning word. But even that may not be useful if the Hei wants to enforce his view
It’s totally stupid that the group of people is so afraid of my mother. It is now the decision of my parents whether I take drugs or not. You don’t want this and even the doctor said who I feel completely uncomfortable with it makes no sense. The educators want to do this anyway. Without that they have something to decide
Obviously there are differences and since your mother’s opinion is not decisive at the moment, I assume that she was partially deprived of custody. Before a judge does that, a lot has to be done/fitted.
And the supervisors, together with the educators, have determined on the basis of this judicial decision that the drugs are necessary. So everything goes without complications if you accept it. The more you and your mother resist, the more consequences this will have.
Take the medicines. You don’t have to love her, but you probably realize that they’re helping you. What you may feel is that you are different with it. Give this other a chance first. Many ads/ADHS-lers have benefited very much and would not be in the position today because they had to waste too much energy on self-organization, etc. without medication, or had not managed to meet the requirements of school/training/study.
What a fool. My mother wouldn’t be deprived of custody. I didn’t write that with a word in the world.
I didn’t get a prescription at all. I can’t take anything easy
You wrote very little. Almost everything is missing, especially what speaks against a visit to your mother. Then I don’t have the state but a possible future. Whether it’s time you and your mother are in your hands. What you feel as extortion is trying to reward or punish you with the reward “home trip” for proper behavior.
If you’d just answer the question instead of answering any future visions, I wouldn’t have a problem at all.
slows down your tone. I’m not a clairvoyer, and if you’re just following information a little bit later, it’s logical to change the impression with me with every new portion. But this is not about me, but about your modest way of communication. And not for the first time
Wow, that’s what you’re getting.
Okay, there’s a lot of facts coming. The decision on a medication falls to the doctor and not the educators. Therefore, the media should not play a role in this.
What a fool.
I’m right. I’m not responsible for my mother’s decision.
This is also not a possible future because even the doctor thinks that it is not so sensible to give me a drug who I feel completely uncomfortable with it
Unfortunately, you don’t write how exactly that behaves with the “saublöden” ADHS medications. So we can only say one thing: your referee believes that your parents have a negative influence on you and other stays at home You are more tolerable than tolerable.
In one you’re right: walking away is really saudoof! But at the moment you can only add and evade the best of your current situation.
My educators want me to take pills, my mother and I don’t want that.
AHA! That’s why the wind is blowing! No wonder that you should be deprived of the influence of your mom! But you should not dissenciate your educator, but your mother – because it is YOU that has not adhered to the rules. IHRETWEGEN you are now getting home!
Not everyone with adhs needs medication. If I can make my Abitur I can also study and I don’t need any medicines for it
Without ADHS medication….?
Look, your parents are in your way.
Now quite clearly, educators do not feel that their protégés stay in the group for the weekend.
For educators, this is all but pleasant.
So they didn’t shoot themselves unnecessarily!
Well, it can keep going as it is up to now.
That I’m in the wg has nothing to do with the adhs.
I would like to make Abi and possibly study
How does your mother imagine how the future should be so further? And what are your goals?
Even if you were right, it wouldn’t matter because my parents had to come together.
Unfortunately, you are currently standing at the point where you now reject any medication.
My mother doesn’t have to stick to any rules. She has and my father are the only ones who decide whether to take medication or not
Accept it.
This is not a question of extortion, which are simply of the opinion that contact with home would not be good for you at the moment or hinder a development that is desired.
There is no power required on your part or the like, so there can be no extortion at all. Rather, it is a finding and a corresponding reaction to it.
I can’t accept that. I didn’t do anything and I don’t think it’s okay I can’t go home
It’s not a punishment either.
Like I said, this is nothing you could influence. It’s about the fact that you think the contact isn’t good for you.
It’s like you’re keeping a kindergarten kid at home when she’s in the nursery. Sure, the child didn’t do anything, but that’s not the point. It’s about keeping damage away from the child.
How do you harm me?
And what’s that supposed to change? My parents will not suddenly agree to the tablets
There are, apparently, shared opinions.
My parents don’t hurt me
Oh, man, such a dynamic is always bad. You’re honestly just getting out by joining this and working with it. Only the adults can find a way out of it and that’s easier if you don’t bring dynamics into it.
What do you mean by dynamics?
the one does what, the other doesn’t like it, but he has power and decides something that doesn’t like the first one, …. So just the adults act around you. But you’re firing nicely by always confirming the one that just does what suits you more.
Ne the educators already know that my mother is very safe
that may be, the external effect is different.
No. My mother is very safe. No matter what I say
you just confirm your parents in their decision because you don’t want to take any medication. That’s how you fire the conflict.
No. I don’t always confirm jmd different
just what I just described
That’s not true.
My mother has decided I can’t get any more adh’s medication and that’s her good right. I’m on her side. What the educators do now is just mean
This is not an extortion but a “educational measure”
These visits seem to burden you more than they do to you and therefore it will be a sensible decision to take this stress first.
And whether you take a drug or not is your decision. Talk to the doctor who prescribed it to you and let you explain the effect. Then you decide.
The visits don’t burden me.
This is my parents’ decision.
I don’t get any medication right now. I’ve got to get some information.
That’s not my decision. But also not the decision of the housing group
I suppose you’re older than 12 and you have a right to determine how you’re medically treated. So listen to me so hard and stubbornly to answer when you say what you can decide and what you can’t.
You can decide which medicines you take.
You can’t decide whether or not you get out of the group.
The comment is unfortunately completely out of place. I never asked if I could decide if I could take the medicines or not.
Then you know everything better and don’t ask.
If what you say is wrong, I won’t let it stand like that.
That’s not true too. The device is not closed. So I can go out anytime. But I don’t want to. I have no intention of going out of the apartment against the will of the educators.
You took the medicines just a short time and whether the really guilt were in your condition is probably not quite sure, except there are other active ingredients. Your parents should show themselves cooperatively and agree to another attempt with tablets. This time under supervision and not exactly during the holidays. Clearly that your mother is now afraid and fears that you do not wear other active ingredients. Only you must remember that the educators and the Youth Office have something to say. Extortion isn’t that direct or somehow, but they want to help you. If the tablets do not bring any or any other side effects, you can put it off again. Theoretically you have no choice, with bad luck your parents will be deprived of custody, so it will only get worse.
My parents are not deprived of custody. That’s why the educators attack such means.
The stupid thing I can’t change my mother
That depends on what you want.
It would be best for you to do all that, because the worries of the educators do not sound unjust.
If you have contact with the questioner here several times, you know… they are not 🙂
Why not? What are my parents doing bad?
How do you think I’m not right with the world?
I regularly go to school. On the gymnasium. I don’t have the best grades, but that’s okay. I have friends and usually hobbies (currently not because of an injury). I live in the group but that has nothing to do with the adhs.
That I don’t agree with you is not a defiance. I really don’t understand. So I’d be glad if you don’t just ignore it
Because you are the person who sits in the group of women and needs to be medicamentated because she doesn’t get clear with the world around herself.
This is drastically expressed, but it is ultimately the quintessence of endless discussions among your questions.
And I’m BLEIBE in this statement and view, so you can save yourself discussing it. If you come back with your ‘nun am I not’ anti-conception, I will ignore it
Of course, this has to do with my parents. That’s what I was told. Why would you worry about me?
No.
This has less to do with your parents than with you. You are the person you have to worry about.
they manipulate you negatively
You can ask for a conversation in which all parties participate. But you should think that emotional performances do nothing to you, so stay as objective as possible and introduce your concern.
What do you want? What would help you? What’s in the way? What do you want to change? What can you do to make you feel better? Who should support you?
If you know what your goal is, for example twice a month, a visit from when to when… then go to the thing.
Running away and freaking out only show you how a toddler reagiers. If you want to be taken seriously, you only have a behavior that shows that you can fight and present your concern with arguments.
I didn’t freak out. I know exactly what I want.
They know that in the wg too. Only they have deleted it now
You know exactly what you want and try to get through this with deceit…
Then you’ll have to accept this and keep you in touch with the agreements. If the supervisors find that you cooperate, they will also be ready for a new arrangement.
Why?
I do so much I don’t want to do
But you are, dear.
I’m not defensive. I am really angry
No, this has nothing to do with my cooperation. I have always adhered to the rules and was cooperative
just follow the orders of the educators and your doctor.
No, I won’t be blackmailed and the doctor didn’t arrange anything. The only medicines recommended
no he ordered them. also you will not be extorted, but it is to assume that the educators will pass through the thing.
You’re not blackmailed here either. Extortion always requires a return ‘if you do (not) then you may (not)’
Here is the view of contacting home is not good for you and therefore prohibits you to go home.
I don’t see blackmail here! You’re just mad because you don’t get your will!
No, you don’t have to earn yourself right. You have to earn privileges.