My best friend is an alcoholic, how can I help him?
Hello community.
My best friend of over 30 years has recently developed a serious drinking problem. 10 or 15 beers a day are no longer uncommon. Weekly binges, etc.
He laughs. I think it's a real shame and awful the direction he's going in.
Is there anything I can do to help him? He hasn't been given alcohol during his visits to me for a while (so, beer when we're sitting comfortably). He also knows that things can't go on like this. He has a job, a house, is single, and no money problems.
When I ask him if he has mental illnesses (and he does, he just doesn't want to admit it), he denies everything… His mother died a long time ago in a very terrible way and I think he was never really able to come to terms with it.
Do you have any other tips?
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Sometimes a addiction is also tightened when a confrontation (whether directly or indirectly) with the addiction and possibly the trigger of the addiction takes place regularly.
Your concerns are quite legitimate, but you will not be able to tell him that he should be in therapy. This should happen voluntarily, then the chances of successful therapy are also higher.
From betting, whether he would stop a week without alcohol, as suggested by another, I would advise that the amount of alcohol (10-15 beer) could trigger a physical withdrawal, which can at worst lethal ends, for example by a seizure.
Sometimes people have to “fly” that they understand that something has to change. If he’s fallen on the snout, or even realized that it can’t go on like this, it’s helpful if you help him and bend your support.
A addiction is nothing that simply disappears or gets better – you are addicted once, you are always addicted.
Keep contact with him and see that nothing changes in your friendship, which only stabilizes and, as explained above, contributes positively to therapy.
With conversations like: “Longly something has to change, you are addicted & I am worried about you,” you confront him with the addiction and their triggers, which does not have a positive effect on your friendship and can strengthen the addiction behavior.
As you’ve already recognized, he’s going to a defensive position, and you’re not going against it. The only thing that helps (even if it’s hard to fall): let him fall on the snout until he realizes it himself and wants to change something.
Try to bet with him and ask him if he can make it a week completely without alcohol. If he packs it so long without alcohol, you leave him alone. If he doesn’t make it, he’ll have to get you a search counsel.
If he doesn’t want to wager at all… joa, then he’s going all the way out of the subject because he’ll know he’s going to lose.
Of course, you can continue trying to get him to open up with his problems. Maybe you ask more “how do you feel about XYZ” questions and fewer questions that can only be answered with yes or no. I know that someone who doesn’t want to talk will find excuses. In the worst case, he will react aggressively and hurdle the topic immediately. It is sometimes easier to talk like this when you start talking about your own thoughts or problems, just to explain once again that every person has to carry his parcel and it is okay (sometimes even urgently necessary) to talk about it.
Did you tell him why you were worried exactly for what reason? Maybe remind him he’s your best friend and ask him what you’re for him. Friends take care and try to help… it’s not like you just want to accuse or guard him. I think that’s something I’ve got to do with him.
In the end, you can’t do anything actively if he doesn’t want to help.
My brother is an alcoholic. Unfortunately, you can’t do anything if people don’t want to get out of the addiction.
Hello!
I’ve got the tip for you. http://www.Al-Anon.de to browse. Al-Anon is a self-help community for people who have problems due to the consequences of drinking alcohol from a nearby person. Look at ‘Meetings’ where there’s a group near you and go there. Often the anonymous alcoholics meet in another room in the same house. You could ask them if they have a suitable brochure or flyer you can bring to your friend.
go to why it came to help therapy or other conversations, especially when an emotional event (death of his mother) happened
How can I help him?
not at all
you are not his doctor or therapist.
You can only offer him to accompany him to a specialist or addiction therapy
Who is not himself out of his addiction or It’s under.
As long as he doesn’t want help – leave it!