Why don't my cats cuddle with me?
Hello,
We adopted two siblings from the animal shelter a few days ago. They were both a bit hesitant at first, but now they're more trusting.
However, both of them don't really want to cuddle with us yet and always lie down somewhere else to sleep or relax, just not with us.
Will it get any better?
Do they have to get used to the new environment first?
Can we at some point do something to encourage them to come to us more often?
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You still need a lot of patience. Let them decide when they come to you, but that always takes time. It's still a new environment with new people. They want to explore the area first and slowly warm up to the new people.
Just sit near them and talk about anything, and eventually you can try to get them to play with toys. They might come, or they might not. Eventually, that will happen, and then you can cuddle them. It's also possible that when you sit there and talk, one or both of them come to you and seek closeness. Let them do it and don't pick them up right away. Just wait.
At that age, kittens cuddle very little, mostly before sleeping while they groom each other.
So it's normal, and it takes time, for the little ones to get to know and trust you. So let them come. Play every now and then when they're awake, but don't force anything. Even if the little ones are sleeping, let them sleep… If you disturb their important deep sleep during growth, they'll tend to avoid you and look for places where they can have some peace and quiet.
Mine come over every now and then, purring, for a cuddle (about 2-5 minutes) and then go to sleep with one of the other cats or the scratching post at the top, where no one bothers them there. My little ones were born with me, so they know me very well as a substitute mother. But they are children who explore their world, romp, wrestle, and cause mischief, and cuddling quickly gets boring. This is largely due to their age.
Cats are not cuddly toys.
Depending on their character, there are extremely cuddly cats and also those who don't want to be that way their entire lives.
I have had both very cuddly cats and some that only wanted to cuddle every few months (and even then only after years).
I currently have a cat that only wants to be petted in a very specific way, and only at a distance. Full body contact during cuddling is not desired.
It is important to accept the animal as it is and not to force it to do anything.
Maybe they'll warm up in a few days and want to cuddle, or maybe they'll just stay distant; either is perfectly fine.
Because they need at least 16 hours of rest a day. If they don't get that rest, they won't cuddle.
Your cats have only been with you for a short time, so you can't demand too much. Some cats need longer, others less. And not every cat likes to cuddle… a friend's, for example, doesn't like to be touched at all.
Every cat is different. They are independent and prefer their free time.
Be patient and spend a lot of time with her.
Patience is the magic word. And lots of love. They need to get used to it first. The animal shelter was their home. With you, everything is completely new. Give them time and peace to discover their new home and its inhabitants. Besides, not all cats like to cuddle. One of my three cats only likes to come on her own. She doesn't even like being stroked on the head when walking by.
Hello you,
It requires a lot of patience and calmness.
Would you immediately cuddle up in bed with a complete stranger? Certainly not.
Your questions lead me to believe that these are your first cats AND that you are quite young.
Most likely.
It can last days, weeks, or months. For some cats, it lasts their entire lives.
Yes of course!
The two cats have been through a spatial and emotional odyssey.
Problems with settling in
https://youtu.be/gpVThsKF_aI
All the best to your cats.
best regards 🙋♀️ +😺 +😺
Oh dear…
We all don't know what these sweet four-legged friends have been through before. They rely on each other and feel safe because of it.
Please be patient. Keep talking to them gently, try to pet them, and stay with them for a moment while they're feeding.
It took my shelter dog almost 6 months to become somewhat trusting!
We deserve the trust that such animals give us!!!
You've only had them for a few days, and they still need to get used to each other and, of course, to you. So give them time. It could take several weeks, if not months, or even years, depending on their personality, before they actually cuddle with you. Or they might never do it, and you should accept that.
Our first cat never cuddled with us in the five years she was with us (she came to us from the animal shelter at 16). Of our two current cats, our grandma always comes to cuddle as soon as we sit on the couch, and our youngest only occasionally. He prefers to lie in his hammock or somewhere else and rarely comes to cuddle. But that's absolutely no problem for us, since they both have completely different personalities.
THE!!
What do you mean by that? What does it refer to?
I'm not familiar with this type of expression of consent. I assume that one is true?
Rather her 😅
I think that in response to everything I've written, it's a matter of character whether they'll cuddle with you at some point, that they need time to get used to their surroundings and of course to the new person, etc.
Every cat is different, and therefore, you can't generalize whether they'll ever cuddle with you or not. As I said, our first one stayed away from people as much as possible, and even petting was almost impossible. Our current grandmother sticks to me as soon as I sit down on the couch, and our youngsters occasionally come over and let themselves be petted or even cuddle up to you, but otherwise, he prefers to keep his distance, even though he's actually extremely people-oriented and will immediately run up to strangers and let himself be petted. He just doesn't want to cuddle.
What he said in the post…
Because they don't want to.