Help guys what should I do?
I know the text is very long but I am really desperate right now and need help
Hey, I don't know where to start, but I just feel like writing this down might help because there's just so much going on in my head right now and I have no idea what to think or do. There are just so many topics at once. I feel so helpless and don't know who to talk to. Sure, I know there are some people who would definitely listen to me, but I wouldn't even begin to know how to explain how I feel. I don't really want anyone to know how I'm really doing, not because I want to pretend I'm okay, but at the same time, I kind of do. I don't want to burden anyone with it, and I don't really want to talk about it either. I just want it to go away, and I don't think anyone can really help me with that. I don't really want to write this text right now, but I feel like I'm just repressing it all otherwise. Even though I can't stop thinking about it. I don't want to talk to anyone either because I feel so "exposed" if I tell someone everything and they know what I'm thinking. Nevertheless, I would really like to talk to someone and have someone who listens to me and understands me, but I don't even know if my problems are important at all. I feel like I'm just getting worked up about it and if I brought it up, other people would think it's silly. But I also feel like it would somehow help if someone knew how I was feeling. My thoughts are so contradictory and it doesn't really make any sense. I know that other people know I'm feeling bad, but I feel like nobody really knows how bad I really am. Maybe I'm not feeling that bad at all and I'm just telling myself so. It feels so unreal, they're just my thoughts and I don't even know if they're right and if I'm not just thinking it all on purpose and getting worked up about it. But somehow I can't do anything about it. I want to feel better, I don't want to be a burden to my mom, but at the same time it feels so right when I feel like shit. I know that sometimes I get myself into it even more by listening to sad music or watching sad TikToks, which I can totally relate to, it just feels right in the moment. It's the same with self-harm, I can't say why I do it, I just know that it somehow feels right. I don't want to be so broken, I don't want to have this problem, I don't want to live my life like this but at the same time I do. And I know it sounds crazy because of course nobody wants to be sick but sometimes I wish I were worse and someone could see how much I'm struggling but I also don't want anyone to know. For a long time now I've had the feeling that I can't get out of this without a clinic, but I also don't think a clinic would really help me. But I know I feel so unbelievably helpless when I know I have therapy in a few days and I keep asking myself what I'm supposed to do with my life until then. I just need someone to talk to straight away when I'm feeling bad. But I don't want to go to a hospital. I don't want that to be my path. I don't want to do that to my mom. Sometimes I feel like I have a world in my head where everything is really bad and dramatic, and when I look at it with others and think realistically, it all seems so exaggerated.
People help what should I do I am so overwhelmed right now
Thanks to everyone who read it 🤍
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Was du aufjedenfall immer machen kannst ist beispielsweise bei Rat auf Draht anrufen. Die hören dir immer zu und wissen auch nicht wer du bist. Denen musst du auch nicht deinen Namen sagen.
wenn du willst kannst du auch probieren einfach wirklich immer alles aufzuschreiben was du fühlst und das dann in der Therapie zu bearbeiten.
das könnte helfen.
wenn ich kann dann schreib ich dir später noch eine längere Antwort!!
Viel Kraft und fühl dich gedrückt !!🤍🤍
Wie alt bist du denn ? Ich nehme an minderjährig oder ? Diese belastenden und manchmal widersprüchlichen Gedanken und Gefühle sind ansatzweise denke ich normal. Aber Gift ist es für dich wenn du dich verschließt. Gerade deine Mutter, die du ja mehrmals erwähnst sollte eigentlich erfahren was mit dir los ist. Auch wenn du es gar nicht so schildern kannst was es ist. Wichtig ist dass deine Liebsten es wissen und dich jemand in den Arm nimmt und mit dir zusammen überlegt wie es weitergehen soll. Und lass das tik tok und diese Musik für ein paar Tage weg -das bringt dir nur Schaden
Ja ich bin 15
Ok. Habe es mir gedacht. Es tut mir sehr leid das zu hören wie schlecht es dir geht. Aber deine Mutter musst du nicht schützen. Was denkst du was meine Mutter alles mit mir durchgemacht hat. Da war ich n paar Jahre älter als du aber mit ähnlichen Problemen. Für Mütter ist es viel schlimmer, wenn man sich verschließt das macht sie hilflos. Mütter müssen aktiv mit einbezogen werden!
Geh in die Klinik. Die werden dir helfen.
Du musst einfach schauen was richtig ist. Und so kommst du mit deinem Leben ja nicht klar.
Und du tust deiner Mutter nichts an, wenn du in eine Klinik gehst. Die sind ja da um Leuten zu helfen.
Wenn du niemanden zum reden hast, hättest du die Möglichkeit es hier zu schreiben. Das ist anonym und es kann dir egal sein, was die anderen denken, da dich eh keiner kennt.
Du musst dich aber darauf einlassen dir helfen zu lassen. Wenn du immer hin und her gerissen bist und zweifelst, mach es einfach. Wenn du nicht entscheidest kommst du nicht weiter, oder noch schlimmer, andere entscheiden für dich.