Help with caring for relatives?
Hello dear community,
I'm currently worried about my mother. She's almost constantly stressed because she's taking care of her partner, who has early-stage dementia, and she's also taking on many chores for her 90-year-old aunt, who lives alone and has no one else. She, too, has become more forgetful and has had occasional health problems.
My mother has siblings and her partner has children, but no one else really cares for her. I personally live 500 km away from her and can't really help.
My question now is, what can she do to find peace again? I feel so sorry to see her like this.
She had already considered taking a health resort, but where would she go with her partner, and who would take care of her aunt? Furthermore, many care options, such as short-term care, are very expensive.
I would be grateful for any advice on what she can do and where she can get help.
My mother currently takes on the following "tasks":
– monitors the partner's medication intake
– accompanies him to doctor's appointments
– cooks healthy meals for him
– does shopping for her aunt
– keeps an eye on whether the aunt's bills are paid on time
And there are many other things that need help. For example, my aunt has a garden that needs tending. My mother can't manage it anymore, and apparently my aunt doesn't like accepting help from strangers.
Then, very often, conflicts arise because my mother is irritable due to her overwork and often feels underappreciated and undertreated. Her psychologist advises her to slow down.
Well, as I said, if anyone has any tips, that would be great. Maybe we'll find something we haven't thought of yet.
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Look here:
https://www.verbraucherzentrale.de/wissen/health care/all-fuer-careen-adequate/relieving-and-help-fuer-careen-adequate-13922
Thank you for the ★, I hope your mother can be helped.
It is best to first contact the family doctor (of the companions of life and/or aunt), then to his health insurance and discuss what is possible here for help (besides possibly nursing money…flegegrad 1 could even be in there if the drug intake has to be monitored).
And then, of course, with the help of health insurance funds, there is also the possibility for a supervisor, if necessary, or household aid.
As I said, a household aid or, if necessary, a caregiver would be possible for the aunt if it is also a matter of invoices (whether it is regular invoices, then a permanent order or individual invoices, or how the invoices are made). Purchases can also be ordered online, for example, then your aunt just has to open the door and receive the purchases…
The question is how far your mother wants to step shorter. Does she want to do nothing with anything or just get rid of a part?
But the first course would be to the doctor. He can also write a letter for the health insurance companies, as he assesses the situation of the person concerned. The KK can help before sending the MDK to check a possible degree of care.
Short-term care may be "yours", but this usually also takes over the KK. My grand cousin has the "struggle" even with her ü90 grandma (bad-like nasty beast) and it is currently about short-term care, or if possible, just about a home place. She's here: @CaietanaCecilia
With my wife, who is in need of care, I have some fight with the health insurance companies and the MDK.
But, as I said, the doctor and then the KK would be the first contact persons in terms of possible relief aids.
However, a whole lot is still open in Germany. And care at home is unfortunately still a losing business for the nursing person, especially with regard to the pension.
What do you mean, "MDK"?
This is the medical service of the health insurance company, which assesses whether there is a degree of care.
MDK: Medical service of health insurance companies